[—at first, Denji's brain is triangulating the better positions, because he's needy and selfish and wants to capitalize on opportunity.
but how often has opportunity fell flat on his face—it's true he's had sexual attention from girls! all liars, all devils who had a stake on his heart—but not his heart—Denji's. he remembers their date, which kind of sucked, but it brings to mind per Makima's lecturing as she made him touch her ear and then her full breast that it was more than just carnal, surface level desire. it's confusing, but in this moment, he thinks he gets it—he loves how brazen and sexual Yoru is, but the way it's familiar makes him feel both empty and afraid.
if there's a chance Asa has similar desires from her human heart, it puts that whole operation on pause. trouble is, Denji is stupid. he has no training on emotional intelligence, until kind of recently, where his desires afford a mirror. it's the first time he's been with a woman who's boundaries aren't conditional, like a carrot on a stick. it's not that Denji has more power, but it's more that... maybe they're level.
he's never had that experience. an experience that makes him want to slow down, remembering her nerviness during their strange aquarium date; where he did indeed retain that starfish were edible based on her boring ramblings, and was able to dig that up to feed her. but Asa doesn't remember that. god fucking damn it. in this moment, that feels so, so frustrating.
and that belies...something. something he's too stupid to understand, but it ignites his spirit. gently, in their kissing, he pushes her in a more languid, comfortable position that happens to position her against the arm of the couch. it's just instinct; not a confident answer to her discomfort. he leans back, breathing heavily, eyes soft from earlier tears.]
...Don't be sorry.
[his breath is labored, embarrassingly; he's so fit, it can only be due to one thing. it's not just Asa. the same body, the same face, different actions; Pavlov's bell will ring regardless. he swallows, and brushes his thumb across her cheek. he observes her dark eyes, realizing they aren't bright and wicked like Power's, or Makima's, or Yoru's.]
I'll...do my best. Now that I know, I...
[Denji's head drops, shame washing over him for reasons he can't understand. he's gotten close to "scoring" many times, but he's never been close to having a girlfriend before Asa. even as bad as their first date was.]
I can't promise I'm smart enough to tell the difference, but...
[he wants his dick to be touched. he wants to get off. he wants to have so much sex he forgets his pain, his loneliness, and everything else. but Yoru provides only the raw part of all that—funnily, Yoru's own sister may have given ammunition against Yoru's manipulation where Denji's true learning lies.]
I wanna be a good boy.
But I'm tired of being good to devils alone.
You know?
But like... I'm stupid, and super horny. And it makes me weak.
potential for memshare "event" in the future of the PSL goes toooo:
but how often has opportunity fell flat on his face—it's true he's had sexual attention from girls! all liars, all devils who had a stake on his heart—but not his heart—Denji's. he remembers their date, which kind of sucked, but it brings to mind per Makima's lecturing as she made him touch her ear and then her full breast that it was more than just carnal, surface level desire. it's confusing, but in this moment, he thinks he gets it—he loves how brazen and sexual Yoru is, but the way it's familiar makes him feel both empty and afraid.
if there's a chance Asa has similar desires from her human heart, it puts that whole operation on pause. trouble is, Denji is stupid. he has no training on emotional intelligence, until kind of recently, where his desires afford a mirror. it's the first time he's been with a woman who's boundaries aren't conditional, like a carrot on a stick. it's not that Denji has more power, but it's more that... maybe they're level.
he's never had that experience. an experience that makes him want to slow down, remembering her nerviness during their strange aquarium date; where he did indeed retain that starfish were edible based on her boring ramblings, and was able to dig that up to feed her. but Asa doesn't remember that. god fucking damn it. in this moment, that feels so, so frustrating.
and that belies...something. something he's too stupid to understand, but it ignites his spirit. gently, in their kissing, he pushes her in a more languid, comfortable position that happens to position her against the arm of the couch. it's just instinct; not a confident answer to her discomfort. he leans back, breathing heavily, eyes soft from earlier tears.]
...Don't be sorry.
[his breath is labored, embarrassingly; he's so fit, it can only be due to one thing. it's not just Asa. the same body, the same face, different actions; Pavlov's bell will ring regardless. he swallows, and brushes his thumb across her cheek. he observes her dark eyes, realizing they aren't bright and wicked like Power's, or Makima's, or Yoru's.]
I'll...do my best. Now that I know, I...
[Denji's head drops, shame washing over him for reasons he can't understand. he's gotten close to "scoring" many times, but he's never been close to having a girlfriend before Asa. even as bad as their first date was.]
I can't promise I'm smart enough to tell the difference, but...
[he wants his dick to be touched. he wants to get off. he wants to have so much sex he forgets his pain, his loneliness, and everything else. but Yoru provides only the raw part of all that—funnily, Yoru's own sister may have given ammunition against Yoru's manipulation where Denji's true learning lies.]
I wanna be a good boy.
But I'm tired of being good to devils alone.
You know?
But like... I'm stupid, and super horny. And it makes me weak.