[he startles a bit when she burrows into him like that, but it makes him relax immediately; like Asa, the warmth is an immediate sedative balm. it unravels his anxiety about what is and isn’t okay in terms of touch, because something even more base id than sex takes over, which is… this, enabling how he loosely throws an arm comfortably around her waist. not because he’s entitled to it, but because they’re human beings.]
I won’t, [he mumbles, shifting to use his bicep as a pillow in lieu of the actual pillow on his bed. he still doesn’t sleep normally, so much of him still trapped in that moldy, weather-prone shack without the luxuries of sheets, blankets, much less of all a pillow. he’ll get there. he enjoys all those things time and again, but when he feels small, he rescinds from the luxury of basic amenities.]
Worry about yourself, [he retorts, shifting his body so they’re a bit closer; the scent of her hair fills his head, which is dizzying in a way more cozying than arousing. the arm at her waist strokes her upper back, moving coarse, silky tendrils of hair for ease of motion.]
Might be there’s nothin’ to be done about me… and besides, I haven’t totally given up hope. I’ll find my way. I’m used to this. Been eating shit since I was a baby, cuz’a the yakuza, my dad, whatever.
You…
[his eyes narrow a little as he fights emotions, and his hand stills, splaying its broad palm between her scapula in this pause. he doesn’t know how to articulate his next point, what he’s feeling: which is that Asa, to him, is innocent. he is not. he’s just constantly seeking redemption. to be a good child.]
This shit’s way newer to you. I’m more worried about you.
[Asa is the only human he’s had this kind of bond with, besides Aki—but he took Aki for granted. and it wasn’t like this exactly besides, because Aki was a dude, and Denji is straight (probably). Himeno was his only human foray into this shit, and she was from a world he didn’t understand.
Asa was human, and Asa was also just a kid. like him. he’s never experienced this. it’s precious, and he wants to protect it. it feels like his goals and paradigms have been shifting day to day since before this place, trying to hold onto what keeps him moving even if that changes cyclically—but he’s decided he wants to save Asa. she shouldn’t worry about saving him.]
no subject
I won’t, [he mumbles, shifting to use his bicep as a pillow in lieu of the actual pillow on his bed. he still doesn’t sleep normally, so much of him still trapped in that moldy, weather-prone shack without the luxuries of sheets, blankets, much less of all a pillow. he’ll get there. he enjoys all those things time and again, but when he feels small, he rescinds from the luxury of basic amenities.]
Worry about yourself, [he retorts, shifting his body so they’re a bit closer; the scent of her hair fills his head, which is dizzying in a way more cozying than arousing. the arm at her waist strokes her upper back, moving coarse, silky tendrils of hair for ease of motion.]
Might be there’s nothin’ to be done about me… and besides, I haven’t totally given up hope. I’ll find my way. I’m used to this. Been eating shit since I was a baby, cuz’a the yakuza, my dad, whatever.
You…
[his eyes narrow a little as he fights emotions, and his hand stills, splaying its broad palm between her scapula in this pause. he doesn’t know how to articulate his next point, what he’s feeling: which is that Asa, to him, is innocent. he is not. he’s just constantly seeking redemption. to be a good child.]
This shit’s way newer to you. I’m more worried about you.
[Asa is the only human he’s had this kind of bond with, besides Aki—but he took Aki for granted. and it wasn’t like this exactly besides, because Aki was a dude, and Denji is straight (probably). Himeno was his only human foray into this shit, and she was from a world he didn’t understand.
Asa was human, and Asa was also just a kid. like him. he’s never experienced this. it’s precious, and he wants to protect it. it feels like his goals and paradigms have been shifting day to day since before this place, trying to hold onto what keeps him moving even if that changes cyclically—but he’s decided he wants to save Asa. she shouldn’t worry about saving him.]