for starters/meme continuations/literally whatever, feel free to drop your own if you wanna thread sth. blanket warning for potential nsfw, violence, + cw: everything if yoru's involved.
Well. It's more like War is raging, in the form of a girl with jet-black arms and limitless destruction at her fingertips. Ironically, it's the closest she's come to understanding Yoru; violence as an emotion, how much better the catharsis of suffering is when it's someone else's instead of yours. Destroying things for no other reason than to prove that you can. A declaration to the world itself: "I was here. You will not forget me." ]
Bang! [ Every bird in the vicinity takes flight, screeching their panic into the afternoon air. ] Bang! [ The front wall of an abandoned apartment block disappears. ] Bang! [ Dozens of windows shatter, strewing glass everywhere around her. ] Bang! [ There's a crater in the ground like a bomb exploded. ] Bang! Bang!
[ It's exhausting work. Asa doesn't know if using Gun was easier for Yoru, or she just made it look easy, but every shot feels like it's taking a part of her with it, and that's exactly what she wants to happen. She's too much of a coward to put that same finger to her head, too scared of it not working, but soon there won't be any of her left to worry. She just hopes it won't hurt. That whatever form of death this world has is more merciful than her sister at home.
By the time the sun rises again on the ruined wasteland she's created for herself, she's become a part of it — lying on her back in the rubble, barely conscious, tear stains tracking a path through the blood and dirt covering her face. Not pain, but relief. ]
[Denji had heard people chattering about a destructive, wild force—which seemed odd, because while Denji hadn't been here for long, this place didn't seem all that crazy. he'd heard from some folks he'd met that every month or two, something might go down... this has been chalked up to some rogue force of destruction, not even identified yet as a resident for a while. it had caused the denizens, all from other worlds, to murmur and try to put a plan together.
then someone said it was a young girl—which piqued Denji's interest for no sort of appropriate reason. there were tons of cute girls around this place to talk to, but Denji was awkward and off-putting; he hadn't really got the gumption to talk to them anyway he might have liked to... but this kinda shit he was used to. fucked up but true: he's kind of excited.
that is, until following the rampage, he finds... what he initially thinks is a victim to the damage, but Denji squints under the flat plane of his hand. something about the body is familiar.
Denji approaches, and his heart stops, eyes going wide.
Asa?
well... Yoru, more likely?
once fully approached by her side, Denji squats like the delinquent he is. he feels something twist in his chest as he looks down on her, jaw jutted forward. he was too distracted and horny by Yoru's baiting him to remember what she said about Asa's mind breaking, but he vaguely remembers something like that.
he strokes the back of his fingers across her cheek, her tears mixing with the blood and the dirt.]
Hey. Asa.
[can she even hear him?]
You're here too, huh...
[what are the fucking chances? his only friend from back home.
why's she doing this? it's hard to know—Yoru seems to enjoy destruction pointlessly, because of her devil instincts. it only seems to hit Denji now how that's probably wearing Asa out.]
Edited (DAMN IT sorry im still groggy from shit sleep lol) 2025-02-12 17:39 (UTC)
Of course it's fucking Denji. All that effort she went through to save him, and being brought here, away from him, was probably the single most helpful thing she ever did. And she can't even have that! She can't even have that, and she wishes he'd been just a few hours later, so she'd have been dead already. She wishes he'd been earlier, so she could have reached up to touch him back, even if it was with a hand made of a devil's corpse.
Mostly, she wishes she had the energy left to laugh. She tries anyway: the wheeze in her chest sounds more like someone breathing through a punctured lung. Feels like it too. Her expression stays blank, like she doesn't even have the mental capacity to change it anymore. ]
Just get it over with... [ It's cruel of her to dismiss him, but what's the point? She can't undo what she's done to him in the time she has left; not that she could even with all the time in the world. All she can really do for him now is close her eyes and not put up a fight as he kills her. Let him be the hero that stopped the monster. ]
Don't be an idiot, [Denji mumbles. the other denizens weren't even intending to kill the destructive menace; probably capture and punish her somehow, sure, but...
hell. they hadn't caught her. Denji had. it was so recent and rapid, most people didn't even know her identity. so fuck 'em. Denji adjusts his position so he can gather Asa up in his arms, standing with her cradled against him. he tries not to look at her, because it feels. it feels bad. or something. it's hard, seeing your friends lose their grip like this. she's suffering.
he wants to know why, and what's going on, and all that... but later. she's clearly wiped the fuck out. hopefully Yoru doesn't kick Asa out of the driver's seat in her weakened state...but he guesses Yoru would be tired to. Denji turns on his heel, walking her towards his place.]
If you need t'nap, don't go doin' it in the dirt...
[ He's adjusting himself: maybe he's going to choke her out instead of using his chainsaws? That would suck, but whatever. She waits, and it's not until he's already taken a few steps with her in his arms that she realizes what's happening. ]
I wasn't napping, you idiot.
[ She immediately snaps back, and it's probably a good sign that she can at least still argue with him. She doesn't want to admit what she was doing, because somehow, the embarrassment of admitting you were laying down and waiting to die is worse than actually doing it. At least he's not looking at her, though that also makes her mad. Does he think he's better than her? That he's doing her a favour? She claws at his shirt, but she can't even form a proper grip, let alone pull on his starter. ]
Denji... you aren't helping anyone by doing this. [ Not her, not the other people here, and definitely not himself. She's proven herself a threat — not just Yoru, but her. He's the only one too stupid to see that. ]
[Denji's known few people who aren't actually some kind of risk to him in some matter or another. if any, really. not closely. his self esteem is battered to hell, and he isn't even aware of it; his indifference to being used as a weapon if he finally gets laid, still foolishly and fully convinced that he'll have some paradigm shift that'll make him feel less empty. he doesn't care if his friends have maybe tried to kill him in the past, anymore. he doesn't mind that they're dangerous. he still dreams of Makima, of Power, of Aki.
Denji's dangerous too, after all. anyone who gets close to him suffers. there's no winning when it comes to that shit, so why worry about it? shit is so fucked that his question is actually genuine. helping, not helping. none of that shit's real to him anymore.
but he also doesn't really care what her answer is. he's going to do this anyway.]
[ Is he serious? She knows his self esteem is in the gutter, that he's accepting of things (and people) that he shouldn't be, but the answer is so obvious that she— ]
Nevermind.
[ —doesn't even bother giving him one. He's going to do this whether she wants him to or not, so she gives up; tucking herself against his chest and tuning out as much of the outside world as she can, aided by the wooziness accompanying blood loss, and the exhaustion of having pushed her body far beyond its limits. Maybe her injuries will finish the job before she has to explain herself either to him or whoever he's bringing her to. ]
[Denji's aware of her injuries, but thinks she has at least a couple hours left. maybe a little less. he's worried about her, but not worried about her dying as she's tucked away against him. he shouldn't be endeared by it, but he is. even if it's kind of bittersweet. it's probably not normal to feel this way, but damn if he has a slim frame of reference surrounding anything like normal anymore besides what movies tell him, at this point...
once at his, Denji carefully manages to get his door open without dropping Asa, and she deposits him onto her couch (so she doesn't freak out). once she's settled, Denji's on his knees by the bed, resting a hand on the arm of the couch to keep himself balanced.
his other hand, expression dull, Denji bites into his arm. his expression flinches from its stoic deadpan, brows knitting and the bridge of his nose snarling in wrinkled folds like a dog—it hurts, because his teeth are made for tearing. the taste of his own blood wells his mouth.
he observes Asa as he does this, trying to assess her condition. she definitely already seems weaker.]
Hey.
Open your mouth.
[it's going to be unpleasant. he's not sure if she's ever even drank blood before. but he'll make it up to her.]
[ Dimly, Asa's aware of being put down somewhere. Some small, stupid part of her feels annoyance at being robbed of the warmth of his body, of having the human touch she's always longed for as her last memory. Not that she deserves it, but still. It would have been nice. Then comes a scent that makes her groan and instinctively lick her lips in anticipation, though the smell of blood alone isn't enough to fully rouse her again.
Her eyes are clouded; she doesn't respond, but the muscles in her jaw are slack enough to open easily. If she knew what he was planning, she'd be far more resistant (in theory, anyway, it's not like she can actually do much), but even though she's obviously aware of devils using blood to heal — she'd given her own to Denji, after all, back when a little thing like the Falling Devil was their biggest problem — she never once considered doing it, even when she lost her arm. She's human. She's not like them. If she drinks blood, she loses the one thing keeping her truly separated from being more than just the host of the War Devil, and not a devil herself. ]
[well. Denji will kick his own ass up and down this whole place when he finds out he took that from her.
Denji doesn't want to take anything from Asa; he does genuinely want to help, but he's also sort of absently aware that he's never really been able to do that in significant capacities. not as much as he wants to, in this personal way, besides Power. he doesn't want to do anything that'll make Asa dislike him, because...
well.]
Man... Why'd you go'n do all that, Asa...
[it's rhetoric; he understands she's basically out. he hopes his gut is wrong. he hopes maybe she just had some kind of literal internal conflict with Yoru that lead to (again, literal) explosive tempers... not that she just was dead set on doing as much damage to everything around her and to herself. she couldn't be coincidental collateral, after all. there were no devils here. the stakes are insignificant in comparison.
carefully, heart thudding reflexively in his chest as he brushes the soft of his arm across her lips, other hand carefully pulling her chin down with his thumb to open her mouth. he isn't bleeding so much that it flows out of him abundantly, but it steadily drips out, some of it smeared against her lip as the blood gathers and pools, preparing to drip into her mouth.]
[ He won't have to wait long to see results. Within the span of just a few seconds, Asa goes from passively letting Denji's blood drip into her mouth, to gently lapping at his skin like a cat, to savagely biting into his forearm. It's the last one that jerks her into a conscious state of awareness; she sits upright with a gasp, shoving him away from her for his own protection. Most people's concern would be that they're somehow alive, but hers is: ]
What the hell did I do? [ Before he can respond, she touches a hand to her own mouth. Red on black tells her everything she needs to know. ] Oh, no, no, no— [ She starts making gagging noises, trying to force herself to throw up, as if that might somehow undo things. ] Why can't you leave well enough alone? Look, I already hurt you! Denji!
[ There's no way he did that to himself willingly. Not for her. Physically healed, but still mentally reeling, she attempts to get to her feet and stumble towards the door, only to collapse to her knees in a heap not even halfway there. ]
[her tongue stings, but it feels—k-kinda nice—then she's fucking biting him, and Denji tenses, eyes widening as he sucks in a breath through his nose, clenching his teeth. Denji stumbles backwards onto his ass in surprise when she shoves him, but he catches himself on his palms.]
Hey! Hey, whoa!
[he scrambles up again when she starts gagging herself, grabbing her arm to try and pull it away from her mouth. but. you know. Asa is strong as fuck. which is why she manages to wobble away from him, and he's all the way up to his feet, managing to catch her before her knees fully hit the floor.]
Asa!
"Well enough alone"? Like you dyin' is well enough or some shit? Don't fuck with me!!
[he pulls her up carefully, guiding her away from the door.]
Tryna run away from me the second we get to reunite... Jeez...
[ She's not usually one for swearing (it's the language of the uncouth and unintelligent) but she's in too much disbelief to do anything other than parrot Denji's own words straight back at him. There's no great struggle when he pulls her up; she's mostly limp again, cycling between wanting to destroy himherselfthe both of themsomething, and wanting to curl into a ball and cry.
A second later, though, and she's shoving at him again full-force, hard enough to knock him down if he doesn't brace himself in time. ]
I should just turn you into a weapon right now! Maybe then you'd learn your lesson! [ Well. No, he wouldn't, because he'd be dead. ]
[he does very nearly fall over, and he keeps his stance wide when he recovers, fully anticipating she'll attack him more. which is confusing. but when isn't it. he's surprised she has this much gusto from so little blood—he didn't think she'd be this hostile with so little energy.]
Me?! The fuck did I do!
Anyway, you're too weak to turn me into a weapon right now.
[probably.]
If you just rest and chill out, I'll let you beat my head in and bust my brains out or whatever else you wanna do, okay? I'll get those guys off your back, too.
[it sucks his only friend doesn't seem to like Denji very much. besides That Way, which he'll more than happily take. probably it's just his body, right? in the various ways that can apply. but it doesn't matter—he just wants her to recover.]
[ That's her secret: she's always hostile. Just usually not so physically, but without her usual restraint, there's nothing holding her back from letting him have it. ]
Stop it, [ she hisses, reaching up to physically cover her ears. ] Stop just going along with everything. That's how all this bad stuff happened in the first place!
[ Yeah. That's right... it's his fault. And since he's the reason she's alive, anything that happens with her now is also his fault. She could go outside and blow the heads off a dozen people, and it'd all be because of him. If she can't blame Yoru anymore, at least she can blame Denji. Stupid, idiot Denji.
God, she wishes it were that easy. ]
I wanted to help you. [ She nearly sobs the words out, lowering her hands as she trembles. Every single thing she did for him backfired, so she tried to do the one thing that couldn't possibly go wrong, only to fail at that too. But isn't that just the story of her life at this point? If Asa Mitaka was a movie, everyone would criticize it for being too unrealistically pathetic. ]
[he approaches her cautiously, drawn in by the way her voice gets just a little watery and a little high. he gently takes her palms, obvious undeterred by their borrowed nature, smoothing his palm against them. he ducks his height a little bit to try and peer at her face.]
I'm not just goin' along with whatever. If I was doin' that, I wouldn't have brought you back here to try'n help you. Okay?
I have free will. I'm just easy to jerk around.
[uh. oops. bad word choice. Denji quickly moves on:]
If you wanna help me, then just try'n calm down. I can get you some water or somethin'.
[he pauses.]
Y'know.
Devils—which is a lot'a the people I've known... hurt me on purpose. But it's human nature to mess up sometimes. If you ever hurt me, it's not like I'm gonna take it personally.
[now that he knows that Yoru is the War Devil, it's pretty easy to tell who's who somewhat. devils aren't sadistic only by their natures—Power did come to care for him, in her own way, that was less painful than the "care" and affection of other devils.
but Yoru isn't that way. she gets off on Denji's suffering. for Asa, she's clearly demonstrating it's the opposite.]
...Plus, why's it gotta be so one-sided? Why can't I help you too?
[ He's right, but Asa chooses to ignore that. It doesn't matter that his approach is gentle, his words kind, and that he touches her hands like they're hers and not the dead monsters they really are. She takes every olive branch he offers her, and throws them back in his face. ]
Because you don't like me. [ Quiet, but accusatory. ] You like her.
[ And it's so, insanely unfair to use that against Denji, the fact that maybe he'd managed to find some shred of enjoyment in what Yoru did not with, but to him, but she's uncharitable at the best of times, and even moreso now. In Asa's mind, he'd only help her if he liked her. So either this is all some sick joke, or... ]
But I'm better than her! [ Explosive again. Almost desperate. Those same hands grab him by the cheeks, cold against his skin. ] It's because she kissed you, isn't it? It's because she—
[ The alley. He'd been so desperate to find out which of them it was that jerked him off — he was probably hoping it was Yoru and not her. The fun one. The one who gave instead of just taking, even by the most twisted logic imaginable. Is that why he saved her? Because he saw the destruction and thought it was Yoru?
She's kissing him before she even realizes it, his blood still painting her lips, the motion messy and ugly and bruising, and only stopping either when she's pushed away or needs to break for air. There's zero affection in it: this is to prove a point. ]
this fucking work call is taking SO MUCH TIME IM DYING how dare u slow down my tag time
[he looks—baffled by the accusation, almost leaning away. but he resists it.
he blinks, wide-eyed and bewildered as she holds his face, rapt.]
N...no, [Denji says hesitantly, his brain stalling and then turning its gears. that might be the only reason he likes Yoru...? but he isn't sure... that makes him kind of shitty, if it's true. but Yoru is someone who gives him affection, too. is that shitty...?]
No, it's not! I'm not sayin' she's better'n you—!
[his breath stops in his throat when Asa kisses him—his brain stalls a second, wondering if this is the first time she's kissed him. was it only Yoru before? the way she asks if it's because "Yoru" kissed him—but he's been kissed a few times by her...
so is this his first kiss with Asa specifically? the Asa who doesn't get off on his destruction...? though she wants to turn him into a weapon?
her kiss is brutal and it makes his blood boil hot. he tries to swallow down that instinct, but he can't help how it charges him instantaneously. he holds the side of her face and tilts his head. by contrast, his kiss more affectionate. but it's not super confident; he's only ever been kissed. he's rarely had much of a chance to kiss back, and he's doing it decisively because he's also tryna prove a point in this moment. he isn't sure what it is.
he likes the one who likes him. whoever likes him of the two...! that's who he likes!]
Edited 2025-02-13 00:50 (UTC)
help i'm usually slow tbh... dw... i feel so bad for denji AGAIN
[ In a better time and place, Asa would appreciate how soft his kiss is. That Denji doesn't try to immediately suck her face off or lick at her like a wild animal, the way she always imagined it would go in her head. Right now, it's wasted on her. His kindness is rewarded only with more pain; she grabs and yanks at his bottom lip with her teeth, hard enough to hurt, trying to copy what Yoru did to him, but nowhere near as effectively. Mostly because Yoru wasn't trembling and crying when she did it.
She grips his cheeks tighter, making sure he can't look away from her as she unloads onto him. ]
You're thinking it. I know you are! [ It's written all over his expression and into the hesitance of his answer, clear as day in her mind. He doesn't have to say it out loud. ] Yoru's the one who kissed you all those times. She's the one who — she did everything! All of it!
[ It's a relief to be able to admit the truth. To finally drop the charade of her two halves being one. It also hurts in a way she wasn't expecting. She was so mortified at the idea of him thinking she was a slut, and now... what? She wants him to think that? No, but maybe she would have liked to do something with a boy one day; probably not, but there's a tiny, almost infinitesimal chance that she could have, might have thought about it — about feeling that closeness to someone just once in her life, enough that the crudeness and messiness of sex stopped mattering. To be not just wanted, but needed.
Well, she's been thoroughly stripped of that delusion. She'll never be as aggressive or as charged or as wildly uninhibited as Yoru, and why would he want anything less if he had the choice? It's not like she can be his first. She couldn't even be her own first. ]
I hate you. [ What she means is: "I hate myself, and you should too." Yoru is at least honest with her feelings; Asa is anything but. Maybe she does hate him for saving her, for letting himself get treated like this, for a thousand other reasons, but it's not hatred making her feel so utterly wretched. (If only it was.) ] She sits on your d-dick once, even while saying all those horrible things... and you fall in love? Is that all it takes? You're pathetic!
[ She drops her hands from his cheeks, and slaps him on one of them. ]
[unfortunately, the pulling bite has the same effect; in fact, because of its brutality, it spikes Denji's heartrate all the more. increasingly, sex is violence to him; even if someone is gentle to him in the moment, he's unconsciously come to understand the violence will just be yet to come. it's a kindness that it's unkind all at the front. he knows it's bad how it makes the root of his dick throb, but... that's how he is.
dazed, he hazily fixes his gaze on Asa as she yells at him for things he didn't understand as they happened—but he accepts them, and he listens. they're two pathetic sides of the same coin; if he can be of use at all if it means he gets touch, he'll let it happen (if it's a woman!). the need to be needed. but, y'know. not like his dick isn't president along side that stuff. he can't help that, but it's part of him. so he has to accept he's just...
bad.
his head whips from the force of her slap, her devil arms quite strong; he tastes copper in his mouth, and goes limp, trying to process. he just wants to be good. but he knows he isn't, because of his body. but that's all anyone wants anyways, right? why isn't it linear? his shoulders sag, and he slowly wipes his mouth.]
I...
[he doesn't know what to say.]
I only—just learned...
[why is it now? maybe because this place is so relaxed, shit catches up to you quick. this is high stakes, though. so why is he thinking about every time it's gone wrong? everything he's lost? he swallows thickly.]
...Sh-she said you liked me.
[he remembers their date, then remembers that...Asa doesn't remember that, right? if he explained that, it'd sound like he was being the manipulative digger.]
Sorry.
I was happy to see you. I... [his chin dimples, and he breathes out a heavy exhale around his tightening voice so it doesn't hiccup. why's he getting worked up like this? in a weird way, he isn't used to girls rejecting him. they just edge him along, if they have any interest at all; because he's a tool. Yoru and Asa are different, but even as he's coming to understand that, he's getting this vitriol from the same body that kissed him and touched his cock and said she liked him pitiful. that's not why he's being pitiful, though.
it's just all catching up to him. there's not much else to worry about, compared to back home. he finds himself missing the chaos.] I know.
I get it. Sorry.
[he doesn't sob, or cry, but tears rim his bottom waterline, gaze cast from hers.]
I'm worse than a piece of shit. I know. I just didn't want you to—...
[ Asa sees the wetness threatening to fall from his eyes, and the wave of guilt that hits her makes her feel nauseous; rises even higher in her throat than when she'd tried to make herself throw up just a few minutes ago. She doesn't get off on seeing him miserable — even the satisfaction of taking out her anger on a living, breathing target rings hollow when there's so little fight left in them. Like kicking a stray dog that still keeps on licking your hand afterward. ]
Stop crying. [ And oh, does she hate how much she sounds exactly like Yoru in Aging's world. She's not screaming at him and kicking him in the nuts, but she's making the same unreasonable demands, blaming him for something that isn't remotely his fault. ] You're not a piece of crap. You're just...
[ Chainsaw Man. Denji. The idiot who saved her life just because he couldn't stand to see her die. The idiot she fell for not once, but twice, and this is how she treats him? No wonder everyone hates her. Everyone except the person with the most right to. ]
Tell me what you want. [ Physically, emotionally... it doesn't matter. She swipes her thumb over his reddened cheek, cold comfort in the most literal sense. ] I'll do whatever you want, Denji. Whatever you think will help. So tell me.
[ And if she doesn't like what she hears, she'll just decide what's best for him herself. ]
denji: the man who wants to be the knight but is in fact the sub damsel
Denji flinches under her touch, but doesn't reject—initially. with the arm that's still bloody from his own bite, coagulating, he gently brushes her touch away, wincing.]
M'not cryin'...!
[obvious lie. just cuz the tears haven't fallen doesn't mean it's not true! but Denji, for being such an idiot, is a stickler for certain semantics. he tries to reign it in, embarrassed on being called out for being emotional although—Yoru and Asa, before he understood them as two different entities...interchangably, he's the most comfortable crying around them. for some reason.]
The hell... W-who cares what I want, [he hiccups slightly, then braces, swallowing it back down again. though he swatted her away, just as gently, he folds his hand around her narrow wrist. a bid and a plea.]
I just...want you to rest a little. You can use my place. I can feed you. It's fine if you hate me, I just...
[augh shit another wave of heavy feelings he can't identify or anticipate! his muscles tense against that wave, and then he relaxes, breathing out heavily.]
I just can't handle another person I care about dying anymore. Whatever you want—that's my line!! I [DAMN IT DON'T CRY, YOU'RE THE MAN!!] just—c-can't...
his battered wife coding... crying at this vs the 'consent is important!!' thread
[ About the crying, about what he wants not mattering, about her hating him, about everything... it's the exact same thing he'd said to her, when she told him just to finish her off, and now look where they are. A snide part of her thinks: "I bet you wish you had, huh?" but he clearly doesn't, and that's the worst part. She can treat him worse than she would an enemy, and he'd still run right back out and save her again. ]
I care about what you want, Denji. [ She says with a truly ridiculous amount of sincerity considering the present situation. Her eyes linger on his bloody arm, and she swears she can still taste him in her mouth. Make no mistake — that particular breakdown is only on hold. ] If you won't say it out loud, then I'll just do it. We both know what you're thinking.
[ When he brushed her hand away, she settled her other one on his shoulder. It slides lower now; a finger trailing suggestively down his chest, tracing around — not over — his starter, and then and then lower, until she's tugging on the waist of his pants. ]
LMAO asa: the fucked up saint of consent denji needs
[god damn if this isn't as confusing as everything else has been all the time. the hand on his shoulder is comforting, because he's always so eager and needy for touch—then it...wanders. and oh, what a hot trail it leaves. he tenses, his dick kicking in anticipatory response.
but! damn it!! that stupid bitch is always what gets him in trouble! especially with Asa! he's already on thin ice. he sniffles a little, feeling awkward as fuck for once again going from emotionally raw to sexually aroused. never much of a break in between, lately. Asa's never kissed him, he—thinks? so surely, she isn't the one who touched his dick. he knows for sure Yoru is the one who ground on his dick to hardness and then stopped when he was desperate enough to agree to anything.
he grips her wrist, hesitantly pulling it away. his body is more than eager; it's hot in the wake of her touch. Asa may not be Yoru, but her touch feels fluid and feminine and—god! of course he wants that. but that wasn't what he was here for, prior to these touches. Denji is capable of refusing sex, damn it! perhaps only with humans? he'd done it with Himeno, after all, despite her being hotter than fuck and more than ready. even if she hadn't barfed in his mouth...similar to Power, in her duress, he just couldn't take advantage of her various states of nude, intimate proximity. that was when he had all the opportunity, and he'd never felt attracted to her again. but his heart had evermore felt fuller than it ever had before.
the irony.]
N-no, hey, that's—not what I'm thinking. Er.
[he glances away bashfully, face red, jutting his jaw petulantly.]
Or, I wasn't, 'til you touched me all sexy...
[he moves her hand to the small of his waist, looking down at her. even though he's definitely half hard. it's deplorably easy to get him to brick up. damn it.]
What I said what I want: I meant that, okay? Like, yeah, I'm attracted to you... but that's not why I did any of this.
[ Because she sure was, and no way is she the bigger pervert between them. If she's thinking about... about using her hand like that, then Denji's probably thinking about worse. Not probably. Definitely. He wants to fold her over the couch and take out his frustrations, because that's what she'd want to do. Hypothetically. In his situation.
... Look, she's only having horny thoughts because she's thinking about it from his perspective, and she's clearly — an empath or something. Nobody is more sensitive to other people's feelings than her! Which is why she magnanimously allows him to move her hand away, though she fully plans to dive back in until he says something that distracts her, fingers tensing against his waist as she blinks in surprise. ]
You're attracted to me...? [ Priorities. ] Me, or Yoru? If you can't tell the difference, then don't bother answering.
The hell—I wasn't!! Just cuz I'm horny now doesn't mean I had anything in mind then!
[he hadn't thought about bending her over the couch and fucking her stupid till he was even dumber, but if she'd brought it up, he'd probably fold harder than a lawnchair in a hurricane. but she hasn't, so! but he'd be impressed with her dirty mind, if she had. integrity is the ultimate cockblocker. maybe for the best, in this situation.]
And—I dunno! I only just learned you were different!
[damn it...he can't tell her about their date. not now. the first half of that date sucked ass. the whole date kinda sucked. but calming her down, eating starfish (haha, metaphors)... that had really endeared him to her. the fact that the date kinda sucked is why it's a fond memory, now. ugh. so how does he put it without that anecdote?]
...I can tell the difference because... I think—so say if I'm wrong! I feel like... Yoru just jumps right into it, cuz I'm like...
[he—doesn't know how to explain it. he quirks a frown, eyes rolled in thought for a moment.]
...a thing. To her. Just a toy, or a tool. Devils are like that.
You're kind of like...
[ah, man. ain't no way he can't blow this. but as long as she isn't slapping him and running out when she needs rest, he's winning. he tries to ignore how for some reason, her fingers tensing against his waist just turns him on more. whhhhyyy]
...I dunno. It's more human. I'm not doin' a favor for a promise of sexual favors. Devils are so business. When I'm confused, it's human.
I—I th-think I want that. I'd rather be confused than played anymore.
[ As he talks, she slowly leans into him. Not in a handsy way, in a 'I'll literally fall flat on my face if you move' way. Her face ends up buried in his shoulder, hands meeting at the small of his back; fingers twitching against him as her adrenaline slowly ebbs away. It makes her feel like a complete moron that he has Yoru figured out, while Asa still... even now, she still— ]
I thought she cared about me. [ She hasn't said it out loud before. Hasn't really allowed herself to even think it, though she was always vaguely aware, and never moreso than when Yoru loaded the gun that was her arm and made Asa's finger pull the trigger. That betrayal is still something she's processing, or rather, doing her best not to, so she doesn't completely break down again over what she did. ] But she's a monster. They all are! Every single devil... I wish they'd all just die.
[ As long as she clung to the assurance of eventually getting her body back, she could pretend she was different. But what's the point anymore? What moral high ground can she claim? She'll never be free of the War Devil, not really. Her arms will always be these — these things. She'll always remember the taste of someone else's blood in her mouth. When she says that devils should all die, she's absolutely including herself in that. ]
... I'm tired. [ She doesn't mean sleepy, though... well. She is sleepy, too. ]
he’s a survivor. like a cockroach. he’s so insular in his experiences because he doesn’t have the time, intelligence or energy to think outside of it. but this makes him realize that Asa really was probably just a normal girl. not like Denji, who despite being a thirsty virgin, has been fucked every day since he was born. has known devils since he was a kid. sold his left eye and his right nut to get ahead on the debt of the father who abused [details redacted; Denji dares not open that door any wider] him, he killed, and inherited his debt. in this place, there’s too much room to reflect.
Asa represents an innocence he wishes he had, but now understands she doesn’t have it anymore either. it’s her first time feeling betrayed by a devil.
Denji takes it like breathing.
that’s probably not normal.
when she folds against him, Denji’s touch isn’t hesitant anymore; he combs her hair away from between them, then strokes the back of her head. he thinks that Yoru probably does care about Asa. it’s just hard to explain the way devils care about anything. you can’t 1:1 it, and Denji doesn’t even know how to explain it. but that’s not useful right now, anyway. maybe another time.]
Yeah, [Denji says casually, tucking his chin against the top of her head; he mirrors the hold on the small of his waist, but rests his hand instead of pulling her in or anything, still stroking her head.]
Me too.
I know how you feel. I’ve experienced it at least a few times… Chainsaw Man brings me more devils than humans.
[he thinks devil users are his favorite, though. human enough to relate to, but cursed enough too… except Yoshida. fuck that guy. he tilts his head so his cheek rests on the top of her head, blinking as he gazes emptily at the wall.]
…If you’re tired, you can lay down. I’ll make you some tea or somethin’. Only got barley and oolong, though.
I will. [ Lay down, she means. But not yet. With the last of her stubbornness: ] Just... hold me for a bit first. Please.
[ It might be the most pathetic she's felt all day. All the cruel things she's said and done to him in the last hour alone, and he could repay her in full right now by refusing her request... but he won't, will he? Denji doesn't jump on the chance to break someone down like Yoru does. Like Asa does, even if she feels bad about it afterward. He knows what it's like to be at rock bottom, and instead of dragging others down, he tries to lift them up and out. Maybe with the faint hope they'll reach back and pull him up with them, even just a step or two, but never expecting it.
She doesn't think she'll be climbing out anytime soon, with or without his help, but it's nice to have company while she's down here.
It's immediately obvious she's crying into his shoulder, but she does her best to try and muffle the sound, clearly not wanting to draw attention to it. After a few minutes, she leans back; her eyes red and puffy, and her face haggard with exhaustion... but she smiles just a bit when she looks up at him. It doesn't come close to reaching her eyes, but she tries anyway. For his sake. ]
You know... I think oolong sounds pretty good right about now.
Yeah, [Denji says again in response to her request, and this time he does pull her a little closer—not pressing his hand against her waist, but looping his arm around it. her scent fills his head, and instead of it spiking to his dick, it just sort of soothes him and makes him feel cozy.
he feels her tears before he hears it—like it or not, his senses are razor sharp. he can even feel the subtle ways she tenses through it. Denji cries openly lately more than he ever has, because he’s felt so raw and broken down—but part of why these sensory cues are familiar is because that’s more how Denji’s used to crying himself. he understands the point of the suppression though, and he doesn’t call attention to it. the hand on the back of her head instead strokes between her shoulder blades, eyes closing, eyelashes still a bit damp.
it’s all forgivable, because life in their realities is so insanely, chaotically hard that no one can really act right. it’s more disturbing when they can.
(hence: fuck that guy)
when she leans back, that tired, sheepish smile makes his heart skip a beat.
holy shit…
that’s what it’s about. holy fuck.]
Yeah, okay.
[he gently holds her wrist, guiding her back to the couch. once she’s settled, he tells her to give him a couple minutes. he gets the tea leaves ready, as well as the accompanying mug and strainer. fills up the kettle, and lets it sit on the stove. he doesn’t have an electric kettle or anything, so…
once he hears it boiling, he rinses out the mug with the boiling water to warm it up. then he doses the tea—rinses away the first wash, removing the strainer to do that before he puts it back in. pretends his heart doesn’t ache for Aki, who taught him how to do this even just halfway properly.
about five minutes later, he’s setting the tea in front of Asa on the table—and sitting close beside her, he peers at her to check in.]
There you go. Not the best quality, but should be brewed at least half way right.
[ She lets herself be guided to the couch. Zones out for a few minutes while he makes the tea, deeply enough that she almost forgets where she is — when she comes to, it's with a start, a panicked look flashing across her face before she sees Denji and remembers. Calms down enough to sit up and look at the tea with a mildly impressed expression. ]
You're weirdly domestic... [ Not for a guy (maybe a little for a guy, okay sexist), but for a Denji-type guy. A delinquent, in other words. Even if he was the one who offered to make the tea, she barely expected him to know how, let alone care about the quality of it. ] It's cute.
[ Another thing she never would have known, because she barely stopped to actually learn much about the boy she wanted to save so bad. She just decided it was what she was doing, what she had to do, and went from there; with no care for any consequences. Great fucking job. ]
Did you learn this from your parents? [ And there she goes, putting her foot right in the minefield. Sure, she doesn't know, but considering that he talked about having to eat toilet paper as a kid, anyone with half a brain would be able to realize that maybe his childhood wasn't the best. Glancing at his face, she tacks on: ] Or, um, a friend?
[ A girlfriend, maybe, which immediately makes her feel annoyed, but unlike before she swallows it down instead of snapping before he even has a chance to answer. ]
[CUTE????? fuck yes. not his preferred compliment but his most frequent and he likes it all the same. it’s subtle, but it does brighten his expression a little, corner of his lip tugging just a bit.
when she asks, he shrugs, flopping backwards on the couch with his legs spread, arms sagged against his thighs.]
Nah, don’t got any.
[but that’s not so weird, is it? between being involved with the Yakuza and Public Safety, he met all kinds of screwed up people. not that they ever really got to a ton of investigative small talk, but it’s not as though it never happened.
he seems to catch her insinuation, but he’s uncertain—he mirrors that glance, briefly, then looks at his slack hands between his legs.]
Yeah.
Control Devil made me kill him, though. [kinda. if he wasn’t so stupid, Aki would still be alive. and Makima knew that. that was maybe the cruelest part about all of it.] We lived together for a little while when I was involved with Yoshida’s stupid organization. Guess he kinda domesticated me by force a little.
[ Yes, she's still holding a grudge over her arm. The bit about the Control Devil makes her wince; half because of what he says, and half because of how he says it. Like it's just yet another ingredient in the crapburger of his life, instead of the huge fucking deal it should be.
She sips at her tea, watching him out of the corner of her eye. Should she ask about what happened? Or... maybe she could give him something back for once. Share in his vulnerability instead of taking advantage of it. ]
I told you, right? About my mom. [ She hadn't gotten a chance to explain herself fully in Aging's world, between Yoru and Denji's devil-vomit. ] When we were running from the Typhoon Devil, there was a cat on the side of the road. It had an injured leg, and I stopped to pick it up, but... I fell. My mom helped me, and because of that, she... she...
[ She doesn't cry, but her hand trembles; the tea nearly spilling. After a few seconds, she rallies enough to talk with only a slight crack in her voice. ]
What I'm saying is... I know what it's like to have someone die because of you. [ Not the faceless hundreds, thousands that she killed with her powers, but someone you know. Someone you love. Someone you can't forgive yourself for hurting. ] Nobody has the right to judge you for that, Denji. Nobody.
[ Even if she still judges herself for it every day. Even if she's projecting onto him, saying what she wishes someone told her. ]
[her vitriol pulls a little scoff of a laugh from Denji, who pinkies his ear briefly while she drinks her tea with contrasted proper posture.]
Yeah, same. Fuck ‘em both.
[he pauses, glancing at her as she talks, summoned by her present nerviness. his heart sinks, remembering Meowy. that’s how he first learned devils could love, even if it still wasn’t like how humans did. and that little cat’s just another disintegrated something he loved like all the rest.
that is to say of course it makes Denji feel soft with emotion when Asa explains, and she’s…right. it is strangely parallel. someone important to them both, gone because of some graceless blunder.
he doesn’t know what to say, when she finishes, staring dumbly at nothing. his eyes prickle and burns a little, and he sits up a bit more straight, forcing presentness to not let those feelings catch him.
he tilts to the side, gently thudding his head against her shoulder. she didn’t have to share all that, but…she did, for some reason. same reason he shared about Aki, he guesses. he lost someone he knew for…what, barely a year? maybe? that’s nothing like a mom. he doesn’t know what to say.
not that he knows what that’s like… ITT Denji gets so close to discovering his mommy issues]
Fuckin’ right they don’t.
[he says it like it’s obvious, but it’s clear from his affectionate gesture that he appreciates her saying it. it may be his fault, but even there he can see he was a victim too, so he knows she’s right; his fault, but no one can judge him for it. even if he’ll feel rotten forever about it.]
Don't thank me. [ It makes it sound like she was saying that to be nice, which — okay, she was, but it's weird if he points it out. She looks at him leaning against her, and holds the tea up to his mouth. Fondly: ] Here, drink this. I hear it makes you feel better.
[ Something something indirect kiss, but she's not paying any attention to that. She hasn't talked to anyone but Yoru about her past before, and only when it was dragged out of her by force as a traumatic flashback. Knowing Denji understands makes it easier. It's still hard, but she wants to talk about him. To have Crambon be remembered by more than just her. ]
His name was Crambon. The cat, I mean. [ Very much past tense. ] I didn't have any friends at the orphanage, so I read a lot of books... he'd sit on my shoulders and watch like he was reading along. It was really cute. And at night, he'd always sleep on my bed, not anyone else's.
People act like cats aren't affectionate, but they're just different about how they show it. You have to let them come to you — let them be in control of the interaction. Even if they swipe at you, it's probably because they're scared or uncertain. They're predators, but also prey, so trust is a really big deal for them.
[ Wow... sounds like someone in this room right now... ]
[Denji straightens up, blinking at the tea as he takes it. then he blinks at Asa, eyes rolling away as he lifts the cup to hide his subtle smirk.
he knows that??? that's why he made her the tea in the first place? what a fucking goofball. he likes that about her. he listens about the cat, blinking mildly at some details. orphanage, pet friend... some more kind of loose parallels. Denji had always been feral, but then, he'd also had a dad at one point. so after that point. then it was just him and Pochita... no orphanage.]
Yeah...
When I was livin' with that guy Aki, my other friend Power had a cat. The Control devil killed Power, so she took it. Then when the Control devil was reborn as Nakuya—the lil girl I was takin' care of, I took care of all the dogs, her and Power's cat.
It took that cat a long time to come around... It never disliked me, we just didn't know how to click. But we were friends eventually.
I don't think I prefer cats or dogs, but I liked that it'd always sleep on me.
Wait, is that why you asked about the Control Devil? If she'd be at whatever stupid welcome party devils hold for Death? [ After what he said about Aki, she thought it was out of fear, but: ] She lived with you? You just, what — totally forgave her? For making you kill your friend? For killing your other one herself?
[ Aaaaaand she puts her foot in it again. Not out of contempt or disdain, but disbelief, and maybe a little anger. If a devil did that to her, if they'd made her kill Crambon, she'd never forgive them, reincarnation or not. Even Yoru immediately backed down from the idea of making her kill a cat, and suggested another plan. She remembers how frantic Denji had been about Nayuta after he'd been put back together, his stubborn refusal to give up on her as they dug through the charred remains of his home... a head coming down the sushi belt... that was the Control Devil? Someone on the same level as Famine and War?
Is that what Public Safety would have done to her, too, if they'd managed to take her in? ]
That's seriously messed up, Denji. [ You're messed up, is what she wants to say, but she manages to at least make it a little less targeted. So much for "nobody has the right to judge you for that"... but it's okay, because she's judging him for something completely different! ]
I didn't forgive her, [Denji corrects, looking over at her tiredly.]
I killed her.
[and ate her. for weeks. he looks at the surface of his tea, blinking. he still misses Makima, though. still thinks about her. that's what's messed up, and even he understands that. sooo he keeps that one to himself.]
...Devils are different. They don't remember humans, really. So if I met Power again, she wouldn't remember me, even though she'd probably remember the Control devil. Nayuta didn't do anything wrong. She was just a little kid.
Feels kinda nice t'just have all that shit off my chest. Sorry it's sudden...
[Denji shouldn't trust Asa because she's unstable... but he feels like he trusts her character, which is why he randomly just shared all that. Yoru probably already knows all this shit anyway, or enough of it.]
Well, I don't care if they're different. [ She says confidently. ] I'd still never forgive a devil.
[ No such thing as an innocent devil and all that. Maybe it makes her a horrible person, but she thinks it makes her reasonable. Why should someone — something — be forgiven just because it died, lost all its memories, and reincarnated as a completely new being?
... Okay, maybe she's being a little unreasonable. Still. ]
You don't have to apologize. I like learning more about you. [ Denji, specifically. She's heard plenty about Chainsaw Man from Yoru. ] ... You've had a really shitty life, huh. I think if I was in your shoes, I'd have given up a long time ago. [ . . . ] But I'm glad you're still here.
[Denji tries not to smile at her unwavering hatred, because he does unfortunately find it kind of cute. Denji can't really relate to having principle like that.
he blinks when she says she likes learning more about him, his heart fluttering as he turns to look at her again. he doesn't necessarily feel flattered or anything by her compliment to his tenacity (he is miserable, even if he hasn't given up—this new place is kind of shifting his paradigm a little bit, at least), but...everything else makes his face a little red.]
...Are you really? Do y'mean that?
[Denji drops his gaze, staring at his tea again, where his reflection stupidly ripples and blinks back at him while he rubs his face.]
Huh...
[people liking him is one thing but...being glad he's alive is... you know, outside of how useful his body is...]
[ LMAO okay. In this case, yes, but also shut up Asa. She looks down at her hands, flexing her fingers idly. Remembering. ]
I like you. You're fun to talk to, and... you're a good guy. [ She doesn't mean in a moral sense, though he's not awful by those standards either. He's always treated her well, even when she's treated him terribly. Just look at today. ] So yeah. Obviously. If you ever died, I'd go to hell or whatever and drag you back myself.
[ It's said ridiculously casually for the kind of promise it is, but she means this, too. Yoru can shut up and be useful for once. ]
[Denji rubs the back of his neck with a little laugh, rubbing the bottom of his nose.]
Don't go making death sound so romantic.
[he glances back at her through the corner of his eyes, and his hand, warm from holding the tea (that again?? he made her? why is she so silly?), extends to rest over Asa's.]
I like you too...
That's why I didn't wanna leave you there.
You're one of my only friends right now... and besides, you're cute, pretty, smart and funny... [even though she's annoying, mean, and crazy. but honestly, she's better than any other girls that've been involved with him. at least Asa is honest, sort of—she's certainly not as deceptive as others, as far as he can tell... and besides, it kind of just seems like she's shy...and that her reality changes often more than her being an overtly dishonest person.] You make me feel a bit more connected to humanity again. As in you: Asa.
[he thinks. he thinks he's getting used to identifying them.]
[ Asa wants to chew him out for using the word romantic... but she can't bring herself to after he follows up with something so heartfelt. His hand over hers is nice, even if it's dulled through her borrowed skin; like her brain is trying to fill in the gaps of what this should feel like, instead of her actually feeling his touch. But if her powers have taught her one thing, it's that perception can influence reality. If it feels good, why question it? Just enjoy the moment.
She can certainly enjoy him calling her cute. And pretty. And smart. And funny. Things she already knew, of course... but she deserves to hear them said out more often, even if she doesn't need to. She's not desperate. She definitely won't replay that in her mind late at night when she's alone and the self-doubt starts to creep in, because first of all she doesn't have self-doubt, obviously, and second of all she isn't an egotist. She can just appreciate a compliment like a normal person. Compliments. Plural. ]
Yeah. It's me. [ There's a few seconds where she hesitates; knowing what she wants to say, but unsure if she can actually say it. Funny how she can sincerely promise to drag someone back from her — from Yoru's, whatever — eldest sister's clutches, then stumble over something so basic. ] Denji... I want to kiss you again. But only if you want me to.
[ Actually want her to, not the presumptive "I know you do" from before. ]
[Denji blinks, appearing genuinely puzzled (and excited, okay, he’s trying to keep it together). of course he’d want her to?? he curls his hand over hears without thinking, tilting his head as he leans into her space a little, peering at her. he puts the tea on his coffee table, before and between them.]
Of course I want you to. You can kiss me all you like, whenever you want.
[he wonders if they have the opportunity to kiss properly if Denji will be able to sense the difference in how each of the two personalities kiss—it’d be a good way to keep things… uh. as sorted in its chaos as possible, anyway.]
[ She smiles. Not the forced, barely-there one of before, but something shy and genuine. ]
You too. [ ... ] You can kiss me too, I mean. Whenever.
[ He'd seemed so hesitant before — she can't tell if that's his natural disposition, or he was just taken by surprise. Looking at him and how he fights, she'd expect him to be more aggressive, but she's thinking of Chainsaw Man. Not Denji. It'd be like him basing his expectations for her off Yoru, and he's made it very clear that he doesn't. The least she can do is afford him the same separation, even if their situations aren't entirely similar.
She turns herself to face him more, making sure she isn't in danger of bumping over the tea, and. Just kind of stares for a few seconds, before laughing nervously. ]
Sorry. I'm not — I'm not laughing at you. [ She's laughing at how ridiculous this all is. She's supposed to be dead, and now she's worried about embarrassing herself by kissing her crush badly. (Because that's what he is, isn't he? Fuck.) ] Do you think you could, um, go first?
[for many reasons Denji doesn't want to remember, he's staunchly anti aggressor—he may flirt, but for any action, he always has to be invited.
his smile goes lopsided and comfortable when she laughs, because he gets it. Asa's not exactly the. uh. humored type—Yoru's more likely to actually laugh at Denji. Asa seems to type to laugh out of nerves, because... obviously, she's anxious as hell.
because of his behavior around consent, though...
Denji blinks.
is this going to be his first time kissing a girl himself, actually? people are always kissing him... but he's never dared impose.]
Yeah, definitely...
[he leans forward, thumb and forefinger curled under her chin to lift her head a little as he bends his neck to meet her; his lips only brush hers at first, and he feels his heart immediately start racing. but he manages to keep his composure (for now), tilting his head as presses his lips more firmly against Asa's. his other hand is occupied by maintaining his balance as he's twisted at the waist, leaning in.
as usual, it feels amazing. and it feels kind of—different, but he isn't sure how to place it.]
[ Asa wouldn't say it's amazing, personally (either she has higher standards than him, or just more stupid hangups getting in the way) (no prizes for guessing which), but it's definitely nice. She matches his pace, pressing forward as eagerly as he does; both her arms sliding over his shoulders to draw him in close and keep him there. Soft, she thinks. He's soft. He should be all edges like her, but he's not. She's glad he isn't. Hopes he never will be. ]
Ugh. There has to be a more comfortable position to make out in.
[ ... Well. One immediately comes to mind, but she's pretty sure Yoru ruined sitting in his lap forever. Speaking of: ]
You realize, don't you? [ She says, with the resignation of knowing she's about to ruin a good thing. The only good thing she has left. But it'd be selfish not to remind him, to pretend their last conversation never happened, and her selfishness is the reason all of this happened in the first place. What a monkey's paw of a dying wish that turned out to be. ] I haven't been able to hear Yoru for a while, but she's not gone. If you keep spending time with me, sooner or later, you'll have to deal with her again. [ Stupid. She could have just kissed him again instead of saying any of this. Instead she stares pitifully at his lips, wishing she had, and whispers: ] ... I'm sorry.
[ It's violating to watch her body do all the things she ever wanted to do, but it's someone else doing them. To hear it saying all the things she ever wanted to say, but it's someone else saying them. But even for Asa, the lifelong queen of living in denial, there are limits to what she can ignore. ]
potential for memshare "event" in the future of the PSL goes toooo:
[—at first, Denji's brain is triangulating the better positions, because he's needy and selfish and wants to capitalize on opportunity.
but how often has opportunity fell flat on his face—it's true he's had sexual attention from girls! all liars, all devils who had a stake on his heart—but not his heart—Denji's. he remembers their date, which kind of sucked, but it brings to mind per Makima's lecturing as she made him touch her ear and then her full breast that it was more than just carnal, surface level desire. it's confusing, but in this moment, he thinks he gets it—he loves how brazen and sexual Yoru is, but the way it's familiar makes him feel both empty and afraid.
if there's a chance Asa has similar desires from her human heart, it puts that whole operation on pause. trouble is, Denji is stupid. he has no training on emotional intelligence, until kind of recently, where his desires afford a mirror. it's the first time he's been with a woman who's boundaries aren't conditional, like a carrot on a stick. it's not that Denji has more power, but it's more that... maybe they're level.
he's never had that experience. an experience that makes him want to slow down, remembering her nerviness during their strange aquarium date; where he did indeed retain that starfish were edible based on her boring ramblings, and was able to dig that up to feed her. but Asa doesn't remember that. god fucking damn it. in this moment, that feels so, so frustrating.
and that belies...something. something he's too stupid to understand, but it ignites his spirit. gently, in their kissing, he pushes her in a more languid, comfortable position that happens to position her against the arm of the couch. it's just instinct; not a confident answer to her discomfort. he leans back, breathing heavily, eyes soft from earlier tears.]
...Don't be sorry.
[his breath is labored, embarrassingly; he's so fit, it can only be due to one thing. it's not just Asa. the same body, the same face, different actions; Pavlov's bell will ring regardless. he swallows, and brushes his thumb across her cheek. he observes her dark eyes, realizing they aren't bright and wicked like Power's, or Makima's, or Yoru's.]
I'll...do my best. Now that I know, I...
[Denji's head drops, shame washing over him for reasons he can't understand. he's gotten close to "scoring" many times, but he's never been close to having a girlfriend before Asa. even as bad as their first date was.]
I can't promise I'm smart enough to tell the difference, but...
[he wants his dick to be touched. he wants to get off. he wants to have so much sex he forgets his pain, his loneliness, and everything else. but Yoru provides only the raw part of all that—funnily, Yoru's own sister may have given ammunition against Yoru's manipulation where Denji's true learning lies.]
I wanna be a good boy.
But I'm tired of being good to devils alone.
You know?
But like... I'm stupid, and super horny. And it makes me weak.
i want her to see makima's treatment of him sooooo bad
You're a boy. [ She says, as if that's an explanation. All boys are useless horndogs, so she can't single out Denji for that. Not when, by his own declaration, girls (and grub) are all he has left to live for. He's got her beat there: she doesn't have anything except her constantly backfiring attempts at saving him. ] But you can't trust her, Denji. She probably — she doesn't even like you. She's lying! Just like she did to me.
[ No, she isn't. Yoru is many things, most of them fucking awful, but in Asa's experience an outright liar isn't really one of them. If Yoru says "defeat the Death Devil, and I'll have sex with you," then that's exactly what she means. But if Denji believes that... what need would he have for Asa? Nevermind all those things he said about liking her for her humanity (ha), or doing his best, whatever that means. It isn't good enough. She wants the extra guarantee. To make him doubt Yoru, and only trust her.
Which of them is the devil again? ]
You need to learn to say no. [ Victim blaming much, but doesn't she get a say in how her body gets used? (Somewhere repressed in the back of her mind: "If you want to live, your body will be mine." But that doesn't count! That deal was under duress; she never would have made it if she'd known the consequences. Would she?) ]
If I offered to have sex with you right now, no strings attached... what would you say?
[ She reaches up to runs her hands over the broad planes of his chest, feeling his breath coming hot and heavy. There's a right answer and a wrong answer... of course, the only problem is that she isn't sure which of them she actually wants to hear. What does she value more: her future bodily autonomy if he can't control his horniness, or the satisfaction of him craving her as much as Yoru? Then there's the girlish part of her who just wants to experience a first with a boy that isn't filtered through Yoru; even knowing it would remove the main leverage keeping her from turning Denji into a weapon. Too bad that's the one she's least honest about, always quick to choose manipulation over exposing the most pathetic side of herself. ]
[…it’s true that men are like that, but Denji thinks he’s especially bad. only because other men simply aren’t as honest and open about their brazen desires, honestly, but Denji doesn’t really understand that.
as for Yoru…Denji doesn’t say anything, just jutting his jaw a bit. even if Asa sounded more confident with her delivery, Denji wouldn’t believe her. he knows Yoru likes him. and that’s not even being arrogant. that’s just knowing too many devils too closely. but just because Yoru sincerely likes him doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. and Denji’s aware of it, too. but, you know. poor self esteem and loneliness. he’ll take what he can get.]
—Huh?
[speaking of that… Denji’s breath catches in his throat with surprise as Asa’s hands stroke his chest. in tandem to that question, Denji’s face goes hot, dick immediately hard. he knows she’s testing him somehow, but he doesn’t quite get what she’s getting at.]
…I-I’d…
[say yes!!! obviously! he’d fuck her right now, if he could!! he scowls.]
Look, I can turn sex from a woman down. I’ve done it before!
And you’re not the type I want that kinda sex from anyway. But obviously, I really want you, so I’d say hell yeah! Of course I’d take you up on it!
[if it was no strings attached, that’d really suck. but Asa is super hot, and he likes her. he wouldn’t mind being used. the concept is kinda hot anyway… but he’s got a boner right now so he can’t trust that logic right now.]
[ Anyone could look at what he's said about her already, and understand what he means by it. Anyone who isn't hellbent on finding the negative in everything, that is.
And hey! Guess what Asa is? Especially when he talks about turning sex down before, and she immediately bristles. Why didn't he do that to Yoru? Obviously he just didn't care enough to try. (The fact he shoved her off in Aging's world, the fact she forced herself on him every time before and after that... those little things don't matter.) ]
I get it. [ She interjects before he can explain, shoving him back so she can sit up more. ] I'm not fun like her. I'm not a slut. It doesn't matter if a girl is stupid or bossy or conceited, boys only care about one thing. Nobody wants a smart girl with standards. It's fine, I'm used to it.
[ Airing out a few more of her hangups on Denji, no big deal. She stands up so she can tower over him while she bitches. ]
Did you ever think about what happens afterward? Of course not. Because you don't want a girlfriend, you just want sex. I can't believe I was even considering something so disgusting. Ugh.
I'll admit that you have appealing physical qualities, and parts of your personality aren't the worst. I even liked it when you kissed me. Not loved, but liked. It was okay. Your technique needs work, but that's what practice is for. I could have taught you, but you'd have to be my boyfriend, and we've already established why that isn't happening. Not that I was thinking about asking you to be. At least not more than anyone would in my situation. Less, actually.
Like I said. I'm not desperate. [ who tf asked................ ]
[has she been rejected by boys before?? Denji supposes she like… is kinda crazy, even without Yoru. and she’s gloomy. and weird. but. it’s kind of charming, too. but most dudes aren’t built like him.
he blinks stupidly and in mild terror as she towers over him, which regrettably does nothing to quell his arousal. if anything, it’s sort of stoked. a little. he swallows. he blinks again as she goes on…… and finds himself more and more confused. who the fuck said any of that???? also what’s wrong with sluts?! he’d totally be a slut if he could.
wait hold up SHE WAS CONSIDERING IT? she could TEACH HIM? how would that work? isn’t she inexperienced??]
Asa! [he interjects, just in case she isn’t finished. didn’t Yoshida say she was desperate for a boyfriend?? why did he say that…]
Dude, I want a girlfriend more than anything. Where did you get the idea I don’t? Like, yeah, I wanna have lots of sex, but that’s not all I want.
I’m just more likely to get laid then to get a girlfriend… so I’m rolling with that now.
[he doesn’t think he’d be a bad boyfriend, but someone has to get there first on order for him to demonstrate those merits. he’s given up on it for now, fully self objectifying, like he’s more of a dildo than a person. should he get even that lucky. he’s fine with it. if he someday can’t keep his bed warm with the same body, he’ll just have to keep it warm with many. he pauses.
Yoru did say Asa liked him…]
…I’d date you, if you wanted. You can hold out as long as you want, too—no matter how bad I want it.
Edited (FORGOT THE POINT OF MY TAG DSKGJSLG) 2025-02-15 16:36 (UTC)
[ She almost wants to kick him in the nuts when he interjects. Not because he's done anything to deserve it, but because she's frustrated, and she'd rather take it out on anyone else except herself. Unlike Yoru, though, she mostly limits herself to verbal tirades. (He's probably lucky she hasn't seen his boner.) ]
So you'd date me out of pity? Is that it? Because I can't get — because I don't want a boyfriend?
You think anyone here will like you if they see you dating me? [ He wants to be liked, doesn't he? Maybe appealing to that side of him will work. ] I'm the crazy girl who showed up and wrecked their city. I thought Chainsaw Man was a superhero. Someone who saves people.
[ Said with a scoff, mockingly. Again, completely unfair, but she's actively trying to chase him off at this point. For her own sake, but also his. ]
... You know, I used to think I could stop her if things got too bad. [ Yoru, obviously. She looks at her hands, at what they are, and it seems so ludicrous that she has to laugh at her past self's arrogance. So she does. A horrible, tired, whimper of a thing. ] But you can't either, can you? You won't. I'm going to be stuck like this forever.
The fuck “date you out of pity”? I wouldn’t date anyone outta pity!
[dating is a commitment! sex is easier. and even sex isn’t easy. even sex has so much fucking consequence around it he’d be scared of it if his drive wasn’t so destructively high.
to her point about Chainsaw Man, he scowls. he’s about to counter her—say it’s different here, because there’s all kinds of people with bigger powers and better morals… moreover, there’s not a lot of heroing to do. except against Yoru, he guesses. there’s probably other chaotic entities like her…
Denji doesn’t even know that it was Asa who caused all that damage, not Yoru. she seems to be the scapegoat of this lovely afternoon session they’re having of going around in circles. at least his dick’s finally down.
something moves in him when she says that, though—like something finally clicks, watching Asa stare at her hands, her broken laugh, the thin veil it represents. right. she’s suffering, but…it’s her body. when she says “you won’t,” Denji feels a wave of shame so overwhelming he becomes nearly nauseous.
it’s like it all finally clicks how violating it all must be. and Denji knows violation. he knows being a tool. he knows it in dark, buried corners of his mind he’s not even ready to glance at. darker and deeper than the door that hid his father’s corpse, but in the same world.]
…I’m sorry.
[he takes her hand in both of his, gazing at it as well. it may be a devil’s hand, but it’s Asa’s now, so he still strokes with his thumb affectionately. even those devils were done pretty dirty. makes sense the devil of war is a merciless occupier.]
I—I’ll try not to. I mean it. [he feels a deep, face-heating shame that he has to say he’ll try.] I…I didn’t know I was taking things from you. I didn’t know you guys were different people, exactly.
I don’t wanna take anything else from you…
[damn. and what of Yoru’s promise? the death devil isn’t even here, anyway. he doesn’t want to feel like he’s—
raping Asa.
fuck. he feels kind of sick. his hand is shaking as he stares at Asa’s in his hold, and his grip tightens softly. he feels responsible. why’s everyone always gotta get so fucked up just by being near him?
[ She should comfort him, shouldn't she? Like he did for her. Say it's not him that's been stealing things from her, it's Yoru. That he has nothing to apologize for. He didn't, couldn't have known, just like she couldn't tell him. Hell — had they come here a day earlier, she'd still be lying to him about the whole situation. Her moral high ground is far more of a molehill than a mountain.
But it takes two to tango, even if one half thinks they're dancing with someone else. When she looks at him, her chest feels tight, wondering what she'll lose next. What's even left at this point? Yoru's proven she has control over Asa's body and her mind. Her spirit? Already pretty much broken. Whatever traces of resistance she has left? Yeah, right. She's no more free to disobey the War Devil than Denji is. At least he never claimed that he could.
If only he hadn't saved her. He deserves to be punished for that, if nothing else. ]
Yeah. Sure. [ Her body sags. She pulls her hand free, turning her head so she doesn't have to watch his shake. ] Get off the couch. I'm going to sleep.
[ The single mercy she shows is that she bites back a comment about keeping his hands to himself. He's well and truly down. She doesn't need to keep kicking. ]
[Denji’s fingers feel—cold, aching, in a sudden swell of cortisol. it feels strange. makes him curl his hands into fists just a bit when she withdraws, and he stands up.
the tea he made goes cold on the table, but he forgets its there. his apartment is surprisingly tidy, from Aki’s domesticating, from caretaking for Nayuta—but he feels so weirdly off balance right now, the tidying isn’t even present to him. he swallows awkwardly, wishing he had that hollowed out kind of static noise emptiness that usually fills him in these moments.
it’s slower, here. so maybe it’s just catching up. but it’s likely because this is just new, and it’s hard, and he cares. who knows.
this may not be his world, but people don’t change when you drag and drop them to different realities. this conversation has cemented this thought he’s been having.
he moves to his room, hesitating at his doorframe—mostly because he wants to say something, but how many times can someone say sorry in such futility? especially realizing he doesn’t really deserve forgiveness anyway? he settles for instead:]
Let me know if you need anything.
[he thinks about leaving his apartment to get away from the tension, but… he brought Asa here to make sure she’s okay. and he’s just realized how badly he’s failed that, but he’s still committed to it; saying that out loud holds him accountable to stay put. so he sinks onto his bed, nails biting into the palm of his hand as he curls and tenses, carefully breathing deep and slow so he doesn’t cry anymore.
like shit that he deserves that much.
his finger eventually tangles in the loop of his pull-start, but he doesn’t pull it. instead, he just yearns, wishing he had Pochita’s guidance and company.]
[ After Denji leaves, Asa finishes the tea, not caring that it's cold. He made it for her, so it shouldn't go to waste. Then she settles in to try and sleep — keyword being try. She's exhausted, but her mind won't take the hint her body is giving. Maybe it knows what kind of nightmares are waiting in the dark. Maybe the guilt of how she treated him is finally catching up with her. Maybe this couch is kind of uncomfortable, actually, and she doesn't have a blanket or a pillow, and she's still in her dried, crusty mud-and-blood stained clothing. Hardly an ideal situation for getting a good night's sleep.
... Maybe she's just not used to being so utterly alone, without even Yoru's voice for company.
Almost unconsciously, she touches her fingers to her lips. A minute later her weight joins Denji's on his bed. She tries to be delicate about it, in case he's asleep, but she knows he isn't. How could he be? ]
Don't say anything. [ ... ] You can kick me out if you want. Otherwise, just pretend I'm not here.
[ She turns her back to him, pulling her knees up to her chest, and tucking herself into a shivering ball on the edge of his bed. Trying not to take up much space. To not intrude any further than she already has. ]
[when he feels her weight on the other side of his bed, his anxiety spikes in a nauseating spiral—immediately, he thinks it’s Yoru. because even if Asa likes him and is attracted to him—she’s not simple, like he is. she doesn’t just pilot about by her carnal instincts. she has sense, she knows better. Yoru is cardinal carnality only, and he’s not ready to fight her off. he tenses, anticipating as much.
but—her words, even the tone of her voice, is Asa. his body untenses, and he quietly lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. his bed isn’t tiny, but it’s definitely not big. he can sense her tremors, and it makes him turn to face her back.
he dares not touch her, though he wants to. he wants to comfort her, but… especially with the clarity of the situation, he doesn’t feel particularly, er. at liberty to touch… but he does brush his shins against the backs of her calves, more as an affirmation of presence.
obediently, he doesn’t say anything. he does get his hand out of his shirt, though, cuz that’s just gonna look weird without someone knowing the context and relationship he has with Pochita. which, really, is… nobody. honestly, he’s worried even turning around or touching legs like this is going over the line. but it feels like anything he does is wrong, so… whatever. he’s trying.]
[ Asa shifts a bit at his touch, though not out of any discomfort or disgust. It's effectively acquiescence; permission to stay. She should be satisfied with that.
So of course, not five minutes later, she's rolling over and burying her face into his chest. When was the last time she felt the comforting warmth of another body like this? Not since she was a little girl, crawling into her mother's bed after yet another nightmare. Not since Crambon... since Crambon. ]
Denji... don't leave. [ The bed, but not just the bed. Next to Yoru, Denji is the only constant presence in her life, and certainly the only honest one. To a fault, even. If he'd lied to her, she probably wouldn't have snapped at him half as badly, but that's not who he is. ] I'll figure out a way to save you. You can still be happy.
[ Back to being normal. Safe. Not having devils breathing down his neck day and night. Not just "can": he has to. It's what's best for him, even if he doesn't realize it. His life wasn't the greatest before, sure, but at least it was a life. He might not understand now, but he will. And she'll do it with or without his cooperation. ]
[he startles a bit when she burrows into him like that, but it makes him relax immediately; like Asa, the warmth is an immediate sedative balm. it unravels his anxiety about what is and isn’t okay in terms of touch, because something even more base id than sex takes over, which is… this, enabling how he loosely throws an arm comfortably around her waist. not because he’s entitled to it, but because they’re human beings.]
I won’t, [he mumbles, shifting to use his bicep as a pillow in lieu of the actual pillow on his bed. he still doesn’t sleep normally, so much of him still trapped in that moldy, weather-prone shack without the luxuries of sheets, blankets, much less of all a pillow. he’ll get there. he enjoys all those things time and again, but when he feels small, he rescinds from the luxury of basic amenities.]
Worry about yourself, [he retorts, shifting his body so they’re a bit closer; the scent of her hair fills his head, which is dizzying in a way more cozying than arousing. the arm at her waist strokes her upper back, moving coarse, silky tendrils of hair for ease of motion.]
Might be there’s nothin’ to be done about me… and besides, I haven’t totally given up hope. I’ll find my way. I’m used to this. Been eating shit since I was a baby, cuz’a the yakuza, my dad, whatever.
You…
[his eyes narrow a little as he fights emotions, and his hand stills, splaying its broad palm between her scapula in this pause. he doesn’t know how to articulate his next point, what he’s feeling: which is that Asa, to him, is innocent. he is not. he’s just constantly seeking redemption. to be a good child.]
This shit’s way newer to you. I’m more worried about you.
[Asa is the only human he’s had this kind of bond with, besides Aki—but he took Aki for granted. and it wasn’t like this exactly besides, because Aki was a dude, and Denji is straight (probably). Himeno was his only human foray into this shit, and she was from a world he didn’t understand.
Asa was human, and Asa was also just a kid. like him. he’s never experienced this. it’s precious, and he wants to protect it. it feels like his goals and paradigms have been shifting day to day since before this place, trying to hold onto what keeps him moving even if that changes cyclically—but he’s decided he wants to save Asa. she shouldn’t worry about saving him.]
[ It's sweet that he thinks he can save a dead girl. Stupid, but sweet. It makes her goal seems more realistic in comparison — all she has to do is replace his chainsaw heart with a human one, and every problem that's plaguing him will vanish in an instant, just like Famine said. He might hate her for a while, but eventually, he'll love her for saving him when nobody else did. Not that she's doing this to be loved, or to make him indebted to her... but how could he not be? She'll be good, though. She won't take advantage. He'll come to appreciate that too.
Listening to that same heart beating, it's hard to imagine what's below the surface of his skin. But she was there in that restaurant. She saw him turn into... that. The other Chainsaw Man. She doesn't hate Pochita the way Yoru does, but she still needs him gone. Nothing personal.
For now, though, she lets herself curl into his touch. Her own hands keep to themselves, but she shifts agreeably under his; letting out a quiet, satisfied hum as he strokes her back, some of her tension releasing with the air. ]
I'm fine. [ Less about convincing him that she really is, and more about shutting down the conversation. ] You worry too much. I was just blowing off steam earlier. You didn't need to freak out like that.
[ Even less believable, but a convenient lie for them both to believe in. She doesn't have to explain herself, and he doesn't have to wonder just how far she was prepared to go in pursuit of her own destruction. She's quiet for a minute, but before the silence has a chance to really settle: ]
... Your bed sucks, by the way. [ Wow? ] First thing tomorrow, we're getting you another pillow. And more blankets. I can't sleep like this every night.
[Denji doesn’t believe her lie, though. he’s just silent, holding and stroking her. it does draw his mind to those actions themselves though—he may not buy her lie, but he’s not quite smart enough to see the reality of the situation. he wonders why. he understands now it was Asa, which just puzzles him more. he settles on that she’s probably just kind of losing it.
he seems to snap out of his pondering when she disses his bed, blinking and lifting his head.]
Mm? Yeah?
[Denji believes her; he isn’t offended. he wouldn’t know better, since he used to sleep on a mattress that was only a little better than cardboard for pretty much his whole life.]
That’s fine… It’s hard for me to tell, so…
[he rests his head back down again, and when he does, his eyes suddenly snap open as he lifts his head right back up.]
Wait! E-every night!?
[his face turns pink, and his heart begins to race. of course there’s a strong current of sexual excitement at the idea, but he’s also just stoked at the idea of having a warm body in his bed again. Denji’s had a shitty, unfrilled life, for sure—but he’s had sleep buddies more often than not as a constant. Pochita, Power, Nayuta, the dogs, the cat…]
[ Honestly, Asa didn't think about what she was saying while she was saying it... and once it was out, no take-backs. At first she thinks she's gotten away with it, but then Denji's head snaps up and she knows she's going to have to explain herself. (The fact she assumed he'd be okay with it says more about her than it does him. He's a boy — he's Denji, so of course he'd jump at the chance to share a bed with a girl. Even one with an alternate personality who can't decide whether to kill him, fuck him, or both. In either order.) ]
Is that okay? [ She tilts her head up to stare back at him, eyes wide; excuses coming fast and thick. ] I-I just thought that, since we know each other, it makes sense to stick together. It's better than living with a stranger, right? But your apartment's small, so sleeping together is easier than trying to fit another bed in. And it's a more efficient use of resources.
The couch is fine, but it's not exactly comfortable. A good night's sleep is essential for both physical and mental health. It helps with your immune system too. Seriously, look it up. Plus—
[ She'll keep rambling until he cuts her off... sorry........... ]
[Denji’s eyes have light to them for the first time in a while; his expression is similar, grinning sincerely. he doesn’t think this like—changes anything, because he’s hardly so optimistic these days… but a girl he mutually likes wants to share his bed!! and that fucking rocks. he’s elated.
gently, he taps his finger against her lips, politely urging her to shut the fuck up.]
Hey.
Of course it’s okay. You don’t gotta explain anything. I’ll make sure this bed is comfy as hell and you get real good sleep.
POLITELY URGING HER TO SHUT THE FUCK UP he just like me fr
[ Rude?? But the relief is obvious on her face as soon as he says it's okay, though she's quick to roll her eyes at his second comment. ]
Don't get ahead of yourself. For all I know, you're the kind of guy who steals the blankets, or kicks in his sleep. Or snores really loud. You look like a snorer... [ wtf is that supposed to mean ] But I knew you'd agree. You're practical. That's actually one of the things I like about you — you know a smart idea when you hear one.
[that was Power’s job. she was such a pain in the ass to share a bed with it probably trained Denji’s bed manners to counter her. ok, maybe he snores when the sleep is hitting really hard and he’s super dead… but only sometimes. but damn why’s she gotta humble him at every turn?!
whatever. it doesn’t get him down. he’s still way too excited, and he still looks pleased.]
I dunno about that… Practical though, yeah. [he’s a virgo he did pick up a lot of those kinds of skills being broker than dirt poor his whole life. he blinks when she asks him to close his eyes, and he swallows nervously, heart fluttering.
this is where he needs to not get ahead of himself… they’ve just reunited and he’s already gotten two kisses, so. you know. Asa is unpredictable as fuck, so he’s trying not to get his hopes up. but, obediently, he closes his eyes.]
[ See, Denji? If you want her to say nice(ish) things about you, just agree with her. Except for when agreeing makes her angrier, because it's a trick question, or because she thinks she wants a specific answer but actually hearing it makes her frustrated, and god forbid she self reflect instead of taking things out on someone else.
Anyway.
He's smart not to get ahead of himself, though in this case his assumption is correct. She props herself up on one elbow, and just... stares at his face for a few seconds. Even in the low light, he's cute. Finally, right when her inaction starts to teeter from mildly awkward to super awkward, she leans up and kisses him.
On the cheek. ]
I'm not sleeping with a guy who isn't my boyfriend. Even if it's not sleeping like that. So, congratulations.
[Asa’s so fucking confusing Denji’s kind of given up trying to decipher her. he wants to understand her more as a person—like that nauseating realization he had about Asa’s sexual autonomy and stuff… but like this, he just has to kinda roll with shit. there’s no other way to survive her.
Denji’s eyes are still closed when he feels Asa’s kiss on his cheek—which isn’t what he was hoping for. but it still makes him smile, cheeks blushing a little. it’s still a win to Denji. despite all the trauma he has around kissing, it’s still simply the best. any kind of kiss.
man, he wants to make out, though. he’s pretty sure that he’s never made out with Asa—probably just Yoru…
wait he’s getting distracted. he blinks.]
Are you saying I’m your boyfriend?
[his eyes narrow as he grins, his heart thudding happily. he wants to make out, but… he has to meet Asa where she’s at, probably. he’s used to women setting the pace anyway, so. Denji scoots forward, brushing her hair out of her face to kiss her forehead.
[ Ugh... she'd been holding herself together pretty well during this conversation, but the forehead kiss is enough to set her cheeks on fire. She's not stupid; she knows he wants more. She does, too. The fact he's still prepared to wait is why she meets those thoughts with hesitance instead of revulsion for once.
She tugs on his other cheek, punishment for making her flustered. Then, feeling guilty, she finds herself stroking it instead, pretending like she's just wearing gloves when she catches a glimpse of her hand. At least he doesn't seem to mind them. ]
Not "pretty" lucky. You are lucky. [ And so is she, even if she doesn't say it. Nobody but Denji would put up with her, even without the added """bonus""" of Yoru. Throw in the fact that she (unfortunately) liked him before any of this; when he was, for all intents and purposes, just an ordinary boy that did one nice thing for her, and she knows which of them is the luckier one. ] As for everything else... w-we can talk about it.
[Denji doesn’t seem to really mind the pinch and pull on his cheek—in fact, it makes him laugh a little, smile held as she strokes his face. which is also awesome.
he strokes her back again, watching her face.
when she eludes to sex (which that even being a possibility makes Denji feel fucking crazy, so again, no complaints), he strokes the back of his fingers across her cheek affectionately, tilting his head against the bed somewhat.]
There’s no pressure or anything… I’m happy.
[despite the emotional rollercoaster this day had been. kissed, slapped, scolded… then she just crawls into his bed and declares herself Denji’s girlfriend. her mind is an enigma.]
You’re tired, right? [Denji’s arm moves so that its across her waist, once again cupping the shell of her back with his arm.] You should sleep.
[ No pressure, he says, and she wishes she could say "I know, but I want to". I'm happy, and she wishes she could say "I'm happy too". Honesty can't solve all her problems, but it sure as shit wouldn't hurt.
Too bad there's no chance of it happening right now. The most she can do is muster a faint smile; nowhere near as big or bright as his, but at least an acknowledgment in its own way, before she buries her face in his chest again. (She never paid much attention to their size difference before now, but like. Whew. He's not massively taller than her or anything, but he's big... ///) ]
[when he leaves her be to sleep, he's up for a while—after all, it's early, and Denji hasn't had a day nearly as exhausting. plus, he has a lot to process—a ton's on his mind. he wanders back through their interaction, troubled again by the issue of Asa's autonomy... finding he relates in ways, but is distressed by the differences too.
which, of course, his mind wanders...predictably... once that ventures into their deciding to date, coupled with the warmth of her right beside him, their kissing from earlier... he feels a little guilty for it, but it's hard to control. but despite how it gets his blood pumping, it also makes him—oddly cozy... and he does eventually find himself drifting off maybe about thirty minutes later.
Denji's dreams are predictably as salacious, but. you know.]
[ On the night of the 13th of February (by her world's standards, anyway), Sanji gets a text. ]
DON'T open this around anyone else. I mean it. And don't be weird. Just say thanks or something. Ew, no. Don't do that. You know what? I don't even care what you do. Ignore it if you want. I won't be mad. Maybe I'll be a little mad. But I get it. This is presumptuous of me. Just so you know, the costume was Yoru's idea. I thought it was patronizing, personally. Like, wow. He's a pirate, so OBVIOUSLY he's into this sort of thing? Please. Of course a devil would think like that. I bought it just to shut her up. So if I don't use it, I've wasted my money. I'm not cheap, but I'm sensible. That's all this is. Me being sensible. I'm not nervous, either. We talked about this. Sort of. It's really not even that big of a deal.
[ Hopefully he took her first message to heart, because the picture that comes through is a mirror selfie of Asa wearing this. Yes, eyepatch included. She's blushing up a storm, and looking away, so it's not a great photo, but the effort is there. ]
[It's a big deal, actually—so big, in fact, that Sanji first has to take time to surmount the wave of dizziness that accompanies a sudden dip in cresting blood pressure after it hit a threshold once thought improbable. He might be banned from thanking her aloud, but he's inwardly chanting the words to himself. Tremulous hands tighten around the phone as he gawps heartfully at the photograph, and he types as frantically as his inexperienced fingers will allow.]
You look amazing, Asa! ♡♡♡ Yoru was right. ♡ That money definitely went to good use. You're so sensible. ♡♡ Even the eyepatch suits you. ♡♡ Meet me at the house tomorrow? ♡
[Incidentally, this photograph is going to be his home wallpaper now. He has enough sense to reserve something more modest for the lock screen, but he is a man in love with a diverse appetite!]
[ Yoru was right. Oh, she can't let that stand. (She'll also kill him if she sees that photo as his wallpaper......................) ]
To be clear, she just suggested I should try dressing up. And the theme. The actual outfit was my choice, so that's why it looks good. [ It was the only pirate one they had, but he doesn't have to know that. ] I don't even want to think about what she'd choose. She's so shameless, it'd probably barely cover anything.
[ Because what she's wearing covers so much. Enjoy the mental image of it being even skimpier, Sanji. ]
Sure. I'll tell the church I'm taking a few days off for personal reasons. We've recruited more Devil Hunters. They're nowhere near as strong as me, but they should be fine. And they need to learn sometime. I can't do ALL the work for them. [ It's not HER fault if people die while she's trying to get some dick. ]
I guess I'll bring this outfit. When else am I going to get any use out of it?
[ She would never, ever be able to sound this casual in real life, but that's what text is for, baby. ]
Right now, he finds himself narrowly avoiding a fainting spell. His overactive imagination probably will be the death of him someday, because Asa (and Yoru) in an even skimpier outfit, especially after these long months in Kamabakka? Oh, no. Oh, no, what'll he do? What will he do?!]
You have a good eye as always. ♡ I'm sure they'll be fine.
[If the guys perish, that's not their problem. (He'll feel bad.) Asa is right, anyhow: Independent study has its merits.]
You've been working hard, so we can take it easy over there. You can bring anything you want. ♡
[This offer naturally extends to Yoru, which is a dangerous game Sanji is far too eager to play. The messages he sends are true reflections of his feelings, but they're also much smoother in text than he'd sound in person. He's also looking forward to the outfit very, very much.]
[ Selfishly, she hopes nobody else is there — not because she doesn't want to see some of them, but because she really doesn't want to have to explain herself. She's pretty sure Anna would take one look at her and know exactly what she was up to, even if she didn't say a word. It'd be mortifying.
At least it's not a school day, which means a quick stop at the church in the morning (ignoring Yoru's smug comment of how much she sounds like a devil, making demands and ordering about humans beneath her), and all she has to do is go home, get dressed, grab her already-packed bags, and she's off to the house. She doesn't know if he'll be waiting or not, but... it'll be good to see him again. Even she can admit that much to herself. ]
[Sanji barely sleeps, which is par for the course when he generally runs on five hours and even fewer now that he's constantly on the run. For once, the okama's nipping at his heels doesn't bother him as he gathers what fragrant flowers he can on the island. If nothing else, Kamabakka sports some truly beautiful flora that speaks to a romantic heart. Dawn breaks, and he jumps over to the house after notifying his monstrous pursuers over his shoulder that he'll be out.
First things first: He's filthy.
Well, he isn't, but surviving outdoors all this time hasn't given him any to take care of his appearance as carefully as he'd like. He takes full advantage of the house's modern amenities to clean up in the bathroom, then wash the sand and smell of fish out of his clothes (his usual suit with a mint green shirt and striped tie) before heading for the kitchen. Finally, he feels alive again!
By the time Asa arrives later in the morning, Sanji has set a table in the dining area with a bouquet of pink buds and a handful of candles he's scrounged around the house on the side. He's in the middle of considering whether to light the candles now or later when he hears the front door open.
His heart pounding something fierce, he pokes his head out to glimpse the new arrival.]
[ She says, annoyed at the question; before remembering that yes, it could have been a lot of people. This isn't their house. She takes a deep breath. Curbs her defensiveness. Tries again. ]
... Yeah. It's me. [ And... it's him. It feels almost mundane, seeing him here again, but it's been a while. She's changed, and not entirely for the better — has he? ] It's good to see you, Sanji.
Come here for a second?
[ He probably has something planned (presumptuous of her, but it's Sanji), but she has her own first impression she wants to make today. ]
[It remains to be seen how much he's changed on the inside, but he's already begun to bulk up from two months of almost nonstop running and fighting. All the fights in the world couldn't have prepared him for this momentous occasion, though, and he leaves the threshold to make his way across the house in long strides.
His senses never fail when there's a lady in the vicinity. They're even more hyperalert around Asa, so he can see all the details of her face and her outfit before he's in range for indoor voices, an ear-splitting grin on his face and his arms spread wide.]
So good to see you, too!
[Seriously. She has no idea what she's doing for him by being present and real. Iva's island is hell on earth.
Sanji all but throws himself at Asa to loop his arms around her for a hug. He just wants to squeeze her and sob about how adorable she is. Whether she allows it or not, he peels back after a moment (the greatest tragedy of his life), his whole body tingling from the barest contact.]
You look so cute! How was the commute? Here, I'll take your bags to the room. [He leans forward, reaching for them.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@benchrental
Well. It's more like War is raging, in the form of a girl with jet-black arms and limitless destruction at her fingertips. Ironically, it's the closest she's come to understanding Yoru; violence as an emotion, how much better the catharsis of suffering is when it's someone else's instead of yours. Destroying things for no other reason than to prove that you can. A declaration to the world itself: "I was here. You will not forget me." ]
Bang! [ Every bird in the vicinity takes flight, screeching their panic into the afternoon air. ] Bang! [ The front wall of an abandoned apartment block disappears. ] Bang! [ Dozens of windows shatter, strewing glass everywhere around her. ] Bang! [ There's a crater in the ground like a bomb exploded. ] Bang! Bang!
[ It's exhausting work. Asa doesn't know if using Gun was easier for Yoru, or she just made it look easy, but every shot feels like it's taking a part of her with it, and that's exactly what she wants to happen. She's too much of a coward to put that same finger to her head, too scared of it not working, but soon there won't be any of her left to worry. She just hopes it won't hurt. That whatever form of death this world has is more merciful than her sister at home.
By the time the sun rises again on the ruined wasteland she's created for herself, she's become a part of it — lying on her back in the rubble, barely conscious, tear stains tracking a path through the blood and dirt covering her face. Not pain, but relief. ]
no subject
then someone said it was a young girl—which piqued Denji's interest for no sort of appropriate reason. there were tons of cute girls around this place to talk to, but Denji was awkward and off-putting; he hadn't really got the gumption to talk to them anyway he might have liked to... but this kinda shit he was used to. fucked up but true: he's kind of excited.
that is, until following the rampage, he finds... what he initially thinks is a victim to the damage, but Denji squints under the flat plane of his hand. something about the body is familiar.
Denji approaches, and his heart stops, eyes going wide.
Asa?
well... Yoru, more likely?
once fully approached by her side, Denji squats like the delinquent he is. he feels something twist in his chest as he looks down on her, jaw jutted forward. he was too distracted and horny by Yoru's baiting him to remember what she said about Asa's mind breaking, but he vaguely remembers something like that.
he strokes the back of his fingers across her cheek, her tears mixing with the blood and the dirt.]
Hey. Asa.
[can she even hear him?]
You're here too, huh...
[what are the fucking chances? his only friend from back home.
why's she doing this? it's hard to know—Yoru seems to enjoy destruction pointlessly, because of her devil instincts. it only seems to hit Denji now how that's probably wearing Asa out.]
no subject
Of course it's fucking Denji. All that effort she went through to save him, and being brought here, away from him, was probably the single most helpful thing she ever did. And she can't even have that! She can't even have that, and she wishes he'd been just a few hours later, so she'd have been dead already. She wishes he'd been earlier, so she could have reached up to touch him back, even if it was with a hand made of a devil's corpse.
Mostly, she wishes she had the energy left to laugh. She tries anyway: the wheeze in her chest sounds more like someone breathing through a punctured lung. Feels like it too. Her expression stays blank, like she doesn't even have the mental capacity to change it anymore. ]
Just get it over with... [ It's cruel of her to dismiss him, but what's the point? She can't undo what she's done to him in the time she has left; not that she could even with all the time in the world. All she can really do for him now is close her eyes and not put up a fight as he kills her. Let him be the hero that stopped the monster. ]
no subject
hell. they hadn't caught her. Denji had. it was so recent and rapid, most people didn't even know her identity. so fuck 'em. Denji adjusts his position so he can gather Asa up in his arms, standing with her cradled against him. he tries not to look at her, because it feels. it feels bad. or something. it's hard, seeing your friends lose their grip like this. she's suffering.
he wants to know why, and what's going on, and all that... but later. she's clearly wiped the fuck out. hopefully Yoru doesn't kick Asa out of the driver's seat in her weakened state...but he guesses Yoru would be tired to. Denji turns on his heel, walking her towards his place.]
If you need t'nap, don't go doin' it in the dirt...
no subject
I wasn't napping, you idiot.
[ She immediately snaps back, and it's probably a good sign that she can at least still argue with him. She doesn't want to admit what she was doing, because somehow, the embarrassment of admitting you were laying down and waiting to die is worse than actually doing it. At least he's not looking at her, though that also makes her mad. Does he think he's better than her? That he's doing her a favour? She claws at his shirt, but she can't even form a proper grip, let alone pull on his starter. ]
Denji... you aren't helping anyone by doing this. [ Not her, not the other people here, and definitely not himself. She's proven herself a threat — not just Yoru, but her. He's the only one too stupid to see that. ]
no subject
[Denji's known few people who aren't actually some kind of risk to him in some matter or another. if any, really. not closely. his self esteem is battered to hell, and he isn't even aware of it; his indifference to being used as a weapon if he finally gets laid, still foolishly and fully convinced that he'll have some paradigm shift that'll make him feel less empty. he doesn't care if his friends have maybe tried to kill him in the past, anymore. he doesn't mind that they're dangerous. he still dreams of Makima, of Power, of Aki.
Denji's dangerous too, after all. anyone who gets close to him suffers. there's no winning when it comes to that shit, so why worry about it? shit is so fucked that his question is actually genuine. helping, not helping. none of that shit's real to him anymore.
but he also doesn't really care what her answer is. he's going to do this anyway.]
no subject
Nevermind.
[ —doesn't even bother giving him one. He's going to do this whether she wants him to or not, so she gives up; tucking herself against his chest and tuning out as much of the outside world as she can, aided by the wooziness accompanying blood loss, and the exhaustion of having pushed her body far beyond its limits. Maybe her injuries will finish the job before she has to explain herself either to him or whoever he's bringing her to. ]
no subject
once at his, Denji carefully manages to get his door open without dropping Asa, and she deposits him onto her couch (so she doesn't freak out). once she's settled, Denji's on his knees by the bed, resting a hand on the arm of the couch to keep himself balanced.
his other hand, expression dull, Denji bites into his arm. his expression flinches from its stoic deadpan, brows knitting and the bridge of his nose snarling in wrinkled folds like a dog—it hurts, because his teeth are made for tearing. the taste of his own blood wells his mouth.
he observes Asa as he does this, trying to assess her condition. she definitely already seems weaker.]
Hey.
Open your mouth.
[it's going to be unpleasant. he's not sure if she's ever even drank blood before. but he'll make it up to her.]
no subject
Her eyes are clouded; she doesn't respond, but the muscles in her jaw are slack enough to open easily. If she knew what he was planning, she'd be far more resistant (in theory, anyway, it's not like she can actually do much), but even though she's obviously aware of devils using blood to heal — she'd given her own to Denji, after all, back when a little thing like the Falling Devil was their biggest problem — she never once considered doing it, even when she lost her arm. She's human. She's not like them. If she drinks blood, she loses the one thing keeping her truly separated from being more than just the host of the War Devil, and not a devil herself. ]
no subject
Denji doesn't want to take anything from Asa; he does genuinely want to help, but he's also sort of absently aware that he's never really been able to do that in significant capacities. not as much as he wants to, in this personal way, besides Power. he doesn't want to do anything that'll make Asa dislike him, because...
well.]
Man... Why'd you go'n do all that, Asa...
[it's rhetoric; he understands she's basically out. he hopes his gut is wrong. he hopes maybe she just had some kind of literal internal conflict with Yoru that lead to (again, literal) explosive tempers... not that she just was dead set on doing as much damage to everything around her and to herself. she couldn't be coincidental collateral, after all. there were no devils here. the stakes are insignificant in comparison.
carefully, heart thudding reflexively in his chest as he brushes the soft of his arm across her lips, other hand carefully pulling her chin down with his thumb to open her mouth. he isn't bleeding so much that it flows out of him abundantly, but it steadily drips out, some of it smeared against her lip as the blood gathers and pools, preparing to drip into her mouth.]
no subject
What the hell did I do? [ Before he can respond, she touches a hand to her own mouth. Red on black tells her everything she needs to know. ] Oh, no, no, no— [ She starts making gagging noises, trying to force herself to throw up, as if that might somehow undo things. ] Why can't you leave well enough alone? Look, I already hurt you! Denji!
[ There's no way he did that to himself willingly. Not for her. Physically healed, but still mentally reeling, she attempts to get to her feet and stumble towards the door, only to collapse to her knees in a heap not even halfway there. ]
no subject
Hey! Hey, whoa!
[he scrambles up again when she starts gagging herself, grabbing her arm to try and pull it away from her mouth. but. you know. Asa is strong as fuck. which is why she manages to wobble away from him, and he's all the way up to his feet, managing to catch her before her knees fully hit the floor.]
Asa!
"Well enough alone"? Like you dyin' is well enough or some shit? Don't fuck with me!!
[he pulls her up carefully, guiding her away from the door.]
Tryna run away from me the second we get to reunite... Jeez...
no subject
[ She's not usually one for swearing (it's the language of the uncouth and unintelligent) but she's in too much disbelief to do anything other than parrot Denji's own words straight back at him. There's no great struggle when he pulls her up; she's mostly limp again, cycling between wanting to destroy
himherselfthe both of themsomething, and wanting to curl into a ball and cry.A second later, though, and she's shoving at him again full-force, hard enough to knock him down if he doesn't brace himself in time. ]
I should just turn you into a weapon right now! Maybe then you'd learn your lesson! [ Well. No, he wouldn't, because he'd be dead. ]
no subject
Me?! The fuck did I do!
Anyway, you're too weak to turn me into a weapon right now.
[probably.]
If you just rest and chill out, I'll let you beat my head in and bust my brains out or whatever else you wanna do, okay? I'll get those guys off your back, too.
[it sucks his only friend doesn't seem to like Denji very much. besides That Way, which he'll more than happily take. probably it's just his body, right? in the various ways that can apply. but it doesn't matter—he just wants her to recover.]
no subject
Stop it, [ she hisses, reaching up to physically cover her ears. ] Stop just going along with everything. That's how all this bad stuff happened in the first place!
[ Yeah. That's right... it's his fault. And since he's the reason she's alive, anything that happens with her now is also his fault. She could go outside and blow the heads off a dozen people, and it'd all be because of him. If she can't blame Yoru anymore, at least she can blame Denji. Stupid, idiot Denji.
God, she wishes it were that easy. ]
I wanted to help you. [ She nearly sobs the words out, lowering her hands as she trembles. Every single thing she did for him backfired, so she tried to do the one thing that couldn't possibly go wrong, only to fail at that too. But isn't that just the story of her life at this point? If Asa Mitaka was a movie, everyone would criticize it for being too unrealistically pathetic. ]
no subject
[he approaches her cautiously, drawn in by the way her voice gets just a little watery and a little high. he gently takes her palms, obvious undeterred by their borrowed nature, smoothing his palm against them. he ducks his height a little bit to try and peer at her face.]
I'm not just goin' along with whatever. If I was doin' that, I wouldn't have brought you back here to try'n help you. Okay?
I have free will. I'm just easy to jerk around.
[uh. oops. bad word choice. Denji quickly moves on:]
If you wanna help me, then just try'n calm down. I can get you some water or somethin'.
[he pauses.]
Y'know.
Devils—which is a lot'a the people I've known... hurt me on purpose. But it's human nature to mess up sometimes. If you ever hurt me, it's not like I'm gonna take it personally.
[now that he knows that Yoru is the War Devil, it's pretty easy to tell who's who somewhat. devils aren't sadistic only by their natures—Power did come to care for him, in her own way, that was less painful than the "care" and affection of other devils.
but Yoru isn't that way. she gets off on Denji's suffering. for Asa, she's clearly demonstrating it's the opposite.]
...Plus, why's it gotta be so one-sided? Why can't I help you too?
no subject
Because you don't like me. [ Quiet, but accusatory. ] You like her.
[ And it's so, insanely unfair to use that against Denji, the fact that maybe he'd managed to find some shred of enjoyment in what Yoru did not with, but to him, but she's uncharitable at the best of times, and even moreso now. In Asa's mind, he'd only help her if he liked her. So either this is all some sick joke, or... ]
But I'm better than her! [ Explosive again. Almost desperate. Those same hands grab him by the cheeks, cold against his skin. ] It's because she kissed you, isn't it? It's because she—
[ The alley. He'd been so desperate to find out which of them it was that jerked him off — he was probably hoping it was Yoru and not her. The fun one. The one who gave instead of just taking, even by the most twisted logic imaginable. Is that why he saved her? Because he saw the destruction and thought it was Yoru?
She's kissing him before she even realizes it, his blood still painting her lips, the motion messy and ugly and bruising, and only stopping either when she's pushed away or needs to break for air. There's zero affection in it: this is to prove a point. ]
this fucking work call is taking SO MUCH TIME IM DYING how dare u slow down my tag time
[he looks—baffled by the accusation, almost leaning away. but he resists it.
he blinks, wide-eyed and bewildered as she holds his face, rapt.]
N...no, [Denji says hesitantly, his brain stalling and then turning its gears. that might be the only reason he likes Yoru...? but he isn't sure... that makes him kind of shitty, if it's true. but Yoru is someone who gives him affection, too. is that shitty...?]
No, it's not! I'm not sayin' she's better'n you—!
[his breath stops in his throat when Asa kisses him—his brain stalls a second, wondering if this is the first time she's kissed him. was it only Yoru before? the way she asks if it's because "Yoru" kissed him—but he's been kissed a few times by her...
so is this his first kiss with Asa specifically? the Asa who doesn't get off on his destruction...? though she wants to turn him into a weapon?
her kiss is brutal and it makes his blood boil hot. he tries to swallow down that instinct, but he can't help how it charges him instantaneously. he holds the side of her face and tilts his head. by contrast, his kiss more affectionate. but it's not super confident; he's only ever been kissed. he's rarely had much of a chance to kiss back, and he's doing it decisively because he's also tryna prove a point in this moment. he isn't sure what it is.
he likes the one who likes him. whoever likes him of the two...! that's who he likes!]
help i'm usually slow tbh... dw... i feel so bad for denji AGAIN
She grips his cheeks tighter, making sure he can't look away from her as she unloads onto him. ]
You're thinking it. I know you are! [ It's written all over his expression and into the hesitance of his answer, clear as day in her mind. He doesn't have to say it out loud. ] Yoru's the one who kissed you all those times. She's the one who — she did everything! All of it!
[ It's a relief to be able to admit the truth. To finally drop the charade of her two halves being one. It also hurts in a way she wasn't expecting. She was so mortified at the idea of him thinking she was a slut, and now... what? She wants him to think that? No, but maybe she would have liked to do something with a boy one day; probably not, but there's a tiny, almost infinitesimal chance that she could have, might have thought about it — about feeling that closeness to someone just once in her life, enough that the crudeness and messiness of sex stopped mattering. To be not just wanted, but needed.
Well, she's been thoroughly stripped of that delusion. She'll never be as aggressive or as charged or as wildly uninhibited as Yoru, and why would he want anything less if he had the choice? It's not like she can be his first. She couldn't even be her own first. ]
I hate you. [ What she means is: "I hate myself, and you should too." Yoru is at least honest with her feelings; Asa is anything but. Maybe she does hate him for saving her, for letting himself get treated like this, for a thousand other reasons, but it's not hatred making her feel so utterly wretched. (If only it was.) ] She sits on your d-dick once, even while saying all those horrible things... and you fall in love? Is that all it takes? You're pathetic!
[ She drops her hands from his cheeks, and slaps him on one of them. ]
SGSLKG SUCH IS THE NARRATIVE
dazed, he hazily fixes his gaze on Asa as she yells at him for things he didn't understand as they happened—but he accepts them, and he listens. they're two pathetic sides of the same coin; if he can be of use at all if it means he gets touch, he'll let it happen (if it's a woman!). the need to be needed. but, y'know. not like his dick isn't president along side that stuff. he can't help that, but it's part of him. so he has to accept he's just...
bad.
his head whips from the force of her slap, her devil arms quite strong; he tastes copper in his mouth, and goes limp, trying to process. he just wants to be good. but he knows he isn't, because of his body. but that's all anyone wants anyways, right? why isn't it linear? his shoulders sag, and he slowly wipes his mouth.]
I...
[he doesn't know what to say.]
I only—just learned...
[why is it now? maybe because this place is so relaxed, shit catches up to you quick. this is high stakes, though. so why is he thinking about every time it's gone wrong? everything he's lost? he swallows thickly.]
...Sh-she said you liked me.
[he remembers their date, then remembers that...Asa doesn't remember that, right? if he explained that, it'd sound like he was being the manipulative digger.]
Sorry.
I was happy to see you. I... [his chin dimples, and he breathes out a heavy exhale around his tightening voice so it doesn't hiccup. why's he getting worked up like this? in a weird way, he isn't used to girls rejecting him. they just edge him along, if they have any interest at all; because he's a tool. Yoru and Asa are different, but even as he's coming to understand that, he's getting this vitriol from the same body that kissed him and touched his cock and said she liked him pitiful. that's not why he's being pitiful, though.
it's just all catching up to him. there's not much else to worry about, compared to back home. he finds himself missing the chaos.] I know.
I get it. Sorry.
[he doesn't sob, or cry, but tears rim his bottom waterline, gaze cast from hers.]
I'm worse than a piece of shit. I know. I just didn't want you to—...
😭😭
Stop crying. [ And oh, does she hate how much she sounds exactly like Yoru in Aging's world. She's not screaming at him and kicking him in the nuts, but she's making the same unreasonable demands, blaming him for something that isn't remotely his fault. ] You're not a piece of crap. You're just...
[ Chainsaw Man. Denji. The idiot who saved her life just because he couldn't stand to see her die. The idiot she fell for not once, but twice, and this is how she treats him? No wonder everyone hates her. Everyone except the person with the most right to. ]
Tell me what you want. [ Physically, emotionally... it doesn't matter. She swipes her thumb over his reddened cheek, cold comfort in the most literal sense. ] I'll do whatever you want, Denji. Whatever you think will help. So tell me.
[ And if she doesn't like what she hears, she'll just decide what's best for him herself. ]
denji: the man who wants to be the knight but is in fact the sub damsel
Denji flinches under her touch, but doesn't reject—initially. with the arm that's still bloody from his own bite, coagulating, he gently brushes her touch away, wincing.]
M'not cryin'...!
[obvious lie. just cuz the tears haven't fallen doesn't mean it's not true! but Denji, for being such an idiot, is a stickler for certain semantics. he tries to reign it in, embarrassed on being called out for being emotional although—Yoru and Asa, before he understood them as two different entities...interchangably, he's the most comfortable crying around them. for some reason.]
The hell... W-who cares what I want, [he hiccups slightly, then braces, swallowing it back down again. though he swatted her away, just as gently, he folds his hand around her narrow wrist. a bid and a plea.]
I just...want you to rest a little. You can use my place. I can feed you. It's fine if you hate me, I just...
[augh shit another wave of heavy feelings he can't identify or anticipate! his muscles tense against that wave, and then he relaxes, breathing out heavily.]
I just can't handle another person I care about dying anymore. Whatever you want—that's my line!! I [DAMN IT DON'T CRY, YOU'RE THE MAN!!] just—c-can't...
his battered wife coding... crying at this vs the 'consent is important!!' thread
[ About the crying, about what he wants not mattering, about her hating him, about everything... it's the exact same thing he'd said to her, when she told him just to finish her off, and now look where they are. A snide part of her thinks: "I bet you wish you had, huh?" but he clearly doesn't, and that's the worst part. She can treat him worse than she would an enemy, and he'd still run right back out and save her again. ]
I care about what you want, Denji. [ She says with a truly ridiculous amount of sincerity considering the present situation. Her eyes linger on his bloody arm, and she swears she can still taste him in her mouth. Make no mistake — that particular breakdown is only on hold. ] If you won't say it out loud, then I'll just do it. We both know what you're thinking.
[ When he brushed her hand away, she settled her other one on his shoulder. It slides lower now; a finger trailing suggestively down his chest, tracing around — not over — his starter, and then and then lower, until she's tugging on the waist of his pants. ]
LMAO asa: the fucked up saint of consent denji needs
but! damn it!! that stupid bitch is always what gets him in trouble! especially with Asa! he's already on thin ice. he sniffles a little, feeling awkward as fuck for once again going from emotionally raw to sexually aroused. never much of a break in between, lately. Asa's never kissed him, he—thinks? so surely, she isn't the one who touched his dick. he knows for sure Yoru is the one who ground on his dick to hardness and then stopped when he was desperate enough to agree to anything.
he grips her wrist, hesitantly pulling it away. his body is more than eager; it's hot in the wake of her touch. Asa may not be Yoru, but her touch feels fluid and feminine and—god! of course he wants that. but that wasn't what he was here for, prior to these touches. Denji is capable of refusing sex, damn it! perhaps only with humans? he'd done it with Himeno, after all, despite her being hotter than fuck and more than ready. even if she hadn't barfed in his mouth...similar to Power, in her duress, he just couldn't take advantage of her various states of nude, intimate proximity. that was when he had all the opportunity, and he'd never felt attracted to her again. but his heart had evermore felt fuller than it ever had before.
the irony.]
N-no, hey, that's—not what I'm thinking. Er.
[he glances away bashfully, face red, jutting his jaw petulantly.]
Or, I wasn't, 'til you touched me all sexy...
[he moves her hand to the small of his waist, looking down at her. even though he's definitely half hard. it's deplorably easy to get him to brick up. damn it.]
What I said what I want: I meant that, okay? Like, yeah, I'm attracted to you... but that's not why I did any of this.
no subject
[ Because she sure was, and no way is she the bigger pervert between them. If she's thinking about... about using her hand like that, then Denji's probably thinking about worse. Not probably. Definitely. He wants to fold her over the couch and take out his frustrations, because that's what she'd want to do. Hypothetically. In his situation.
... Look, she's only having horny thoughts because she's thinking about it from his perspective, and she's clearly — an empath or something. Nobody is more sensitive to other people's feelings than her! Which is why she magnanimously allows him to move her hand away, though she fully plans to dive back in until he says something that distracts her, fingers tensing against his waist as she blinks in surprise. ]
You're attracted to me...? [ Priorities. ] Me, or Yoru? If you can't tell the difference, then don't bother answering.
no subject
[he hadn't thought about bending her over the couch and fucking her stupid till he was even dumber, but if she'd brought it up, he'd probably fold harder than a lawnchair in a hurricane. but she hasn't, so! but he'd be impressed with her dirty mind, if she had. integrity is the ultimate cockblocker. maybe for the best, in this situation.]
And—I dunno! I only just learned you were different!
[damn it...he can't tell her about their date. not now. the first half of that date sucked ass. the whole date kinda sucked. but calming her down, eating starfish (haha, metaphors)... that had really endeared him to her. the fact that the date kinda sucked is why it's a fond memory, now. ugh. so how does he put it without that anecdote?]
...I can tell the difference because... I think—so say if I'm wrong! I feel like... Yoru just jumps right into it, cuz I'm like...
[he—doesn't know how to explain it. he quirks a frown, eyes rolled in thought for a moment.]
...a thing. To her. Just a toy, or a tool. Devils are like that.
You're kind of like...
[ah, man. ain't no way he can't blow this. but as long as she isn't slapping him and running out when she needs rest, he's winning. he tries to ignore how for some reason, her fingers tensing against his waist just turns him on more. whhhhyyy]
...I dunno. It's more human. I'm not doin' a favor for a promise of sexual favors. Devils are so business. When I'm confused, it's human.
I—I th-think I want that. I'd rather be confused than played anymore.
no subject
I thought she cared about me. [ She hasn't said it out loud before. Hasn't really allowed herself to even think it, though she was always vaguely aware, and never moreso than when Yoru loaded the gun that was her arm and made Asa's finger pull the trigger. That betrayal is still something she's processing, or rather, doing her best not to, so she doesn't completely break down again over what she did. ] But she's a monster. They all are! Every single devil... I wish they'd all just die.
[ As long as she clung to the assurance of eventually getting her body back, she could pretend she was different. But what's the point anymore? What moral high ground can she claim? She'll never be free of the War Devil, not really. Her arms will always be these — these things. She'll always remember the taste of someone else's blood in her mouth. When she says that devils should all die, she's absolutely including herself in that. ]
... I'm tired. [ She doesn't mean sleepy, though... well. She is sleepy, too. ]
no subject
he’s a survivor. like a cockroach. he’s so insular in his experiences because he doesn’t have the time, intelligence or energy to think outside of it. but this makes him realize that Asa really was probably just a normal girl. not like Denji, who despite being a thirsty virgin, has been fucked every day since he was born. has known devils since he was a kid. sold his left eye and his right nut to get ahead on the debt of the father who abused [details redacted; Denji dares not open that door any wider] him, he killed, and inherited his debt. in this place, there’s too much room to reflect.
Asa represents an innocence he wishes he had, but now understands she doesn’t have it anymore either. it’s her first time feeling betrayed by a devil.
Denji takes it like breathing.
that’s probably not normal.
when she folds against him, Denji’s touch isn’t hesitant anymore; he combs her hair away from between them, then strokes the back of her head. he thinks that Yoru probably does care about Asa. it’s just hard to explain the way devils care about anything. you can’t 1:1 it, and Denji doesn’t even know how to explain it. but that’s not useful right now, anyway. maybe another time.]
Yeah, [Denji says casually, tucking his chin against the top of her head; he mirrors the hold on the small of his waist, but rests his hand instead of pulling her in or anything, still stroking her head.]
Me too.
I know how you feel. I’ve experienced it at least a few times… Chainsaw Man brings me more devils than humans.
[he thinks devil users are his favorite, though. human enough to relate to, but cursed enough too… except Yoshida. fuck that guy. he tilts his head so his cheek rests on the top of her head, blinking as he gazes emptily at the wall.]
…If you’re tired, you can lay down. I’ll make you some tea or somethin’. Only got barley and oolong, though.
no subject
[ It might be the most pathetic she's felt all day. All the cruel things she's said and done to him in the last hour alone, and he could repay her in full right now by refusing her request... but he won't, will he? Denji doesn't jump on the chance to break someone down like Yoru does. Like Asa does, even if she feels bad about it afterward. He knows what it's like to be at rock bottom, and instead of dragging others down, he tries to lift them up and out. Maybe with the faint hope they'll reach back and pull him up with them, even just a step or two, but never expecting it.
She doesn't think she'll be climbing out anytime soon, with or without his help, but it's nice to have company while she's down here.
It's immediately obvious she's crying into his shoulder, but she does her best to try and muffle the sound, clearly not wanting to draw attention to it. After a few minutes, she leans back; her eyes red and puffy, and her face haggard with exhaustion... but she smiles just a bit when she looks up at him. It doesn't come close to reaching her eyes, but she tries anyway. For his sake. ]
You know... I think oolong sounds pretty good right about now.
no subject
he feels her tears before he hears it—like it or not, his senses are razor sharp. he can even feel the subtle ways she tenses through it. Denji cries openly lately more than he ever has, because he’s felt so raw and broken down—but part of why these sensory cues are familiar is because that’s more how Denji’s used to crying himself. he understands the point of the suppression though, and he doesn’t call attention to it. the hand on the back of her head instead strokes between her shoulder blades, eyes closing, eyelashes still a bit damp.
it’s all forgivable, because life in their realities is so insanely, chaotically hard that no one can really act right. it’s more disturbing when they can.
(hence: fuck that guy)
when she leans back, that tired, sheepish smile makes his heart skip a beat.
holy shit…
that’s what it’s about. holy fuck.]
Yeah, okay.
[he gently holds her wrist, guiding her back to the couch. once she’s settled, he tells her to give him a couple minutes. he gets the tea leaves ready, as well as the accompanying mug and strainer. fills up the kettle, and lets it sit on the stove. he doesn’t have an electric kettle or anything, so…
once he hears it boiling, he rinses out the mug with the boiling water to warm it up. then he doses the tea—rinses away the first wash, removing the strainer to do that before he puts it back in. pretends his heart doesn’t ache for Aki, who taught him how to do this even just halfway properly.
about five minutes later, he’s setting the tea in front of Asa on the table—and sitting close beside her, he peers at her to check in.]
There you go. Not the best quality, but should be brewed at least half way right.
[…it feels good. taking care of people you like.]
no subject
You're weirdly domestic... [ Not for a guy (maybe a little for a guy, okay sexist), but for a Denji-type guy. A delinquent, in other words. Even if he was the one who offered to make the tea, she barely expected him to know how, let alone care about the quality of it. ] It's cute.
[ Another thing she never would have known, because she barely stopped to actually learn much about the boy she wanted to save so bad. She just decided it was what she was doing, what she had to do, and went from there; with no care for any consequences. Great fucking job. ]
Did you learn this from your parents? [ And there she goes, putting her foot right in the minefield. Sure, she doesn't know, but considering that he talked about having to eat toilet paper as a kid, anyone with half a brain would be able to realize that maybe his childhood wasn't the best. Glancing at his face, she tacks on: ] Or, um, a friend?
[ A girlfriend, maybe, which immediately makes her feel annoyed, but unlike before she swallows it down instead of snapping before he even has a chance to answer. ]
no subject
when she asks, he shrugs, flopping backwards on the couch with his legs spread, arms sagged against his thighs.]
Nah, don’t got any.
[but that’s not so weird, is it? between being involved with the Yakuza and Public Safety, he met all kinds of screwed up people. not that they ever really got to a ton of investigative small talk, but it’s not as though it never happened.
he seems to catch her insinuation, but he’s uncertain—he mirrors that glance, briefly, then looks at his slack hands between his legs.]
Yeah.
Control Devil made me kill him, though. [kinda. if he wasn’t so stupid, Aki would still be alive. and Makima knew that. that was maybe the cruelest part about all of it.] We lived together for a little while when I was involved with Yoshida’s stupid organization. Guess he kinda domesticated me by force a little.
[which sounds. weird. but whatever.]
no subject
God, I hate that guy. Public Safety too.
[ Yes, she's still holding a grudge over her arm. The bit about the Control Devil makes her wince; half because of what he says, and half because of how he says it. Like it's just yet another ingredient in the crapburger of his life, instead of the huge fucking deal it should be.
She sips at her tea, watching him out of the corner of her eye. Should she ask about what happened? Or... maybe she could give him something back for once. Share in his vulnerability instead of taking advantage of it. ]
I told you, right? About my mom. [ She hadn't gotten a chance to explain herself fully in Aging's world, between Yoru and Denji's devil-vomit. ] When we were running from the Typhoon Devil, there was a cat on the side of the road. It had an injured leg, and I stopped to pick it up, but... I fell. My mom helped me, and because of that, she... she...
[ She doesn't cry, but her hand trembles; the tea nearly spilling. After a few seconds, she rallies enough to talk with only a slight crack in her voice. ]
What I'm saying is... I know what it's like to have someone die because of you. [ Not the faceless hundreds, thousands that she killed with her powers, but someone you know. Someone you love. Someone you can't forgive yourself for hurting. ] Nobody has the right to judge you for that, Denji. Nobody.
[ Even if she still judges herself for it every day. Even if she's projecting onto him, saying what she wishes someone told her. ]
no subject
Yeah, same. Fuck ‘em both.
[he pauses, glancing at her as she talks, summoned by her present nerviness. his heart sinks, remembering Meowy. that’s how he first learned devils could love, even if it still wasn’t like how humans did. and that little cat’s just another disintegrated something he loved like all the rest.
that is to say of course it makes Denji feel soft with emotion when Asa explains, and she’s…right. it is strangely parallel. someone important to them both, gone because of some graceless blunder.
he doesn’t know what to say, when she finishes, staring dumbly at nothing. his eyes prickle and burns a little, and he sits up a bit more straight, forcing presentness to not let those feelings catch him.
he tilts to the side, gently thudding his head against her shoulder. she didn’t have to share all that, but…she did, for some reason. same reason he shared about Aki, he guesses. he lost someone he knew for…what, barely a year? maybe? that’s nothing like a mom. he doesn’t know what to say.
not that he knows what that’s like…
ITT Denji gets so close to discovering his mommy issues]Fuckin’ right they don’t.
[he says it like it’s obvious, but it’s clear from his affectionate gesture that he appreciates her saying it. it may be his fault, but even there he can see he was a victim too, so he knows she’s right; his fault, but no one can judge him for it. even if he’ll feel rotten forever about it.]
…Thanks.
no subject
another thing they have in common]Don't thank me. [ It makes it sound like she was saying that to be nice, which — okay, she was, but it's weird if he points it out. She looks at him leaning against her, and holds the tea up to his mouth. Fondly: ] Here, drink this. I hear it makes you feel better.
[ Something something indirect kiss, but she's not paying any attention to that. She hasn't talked to anyone but Yoru about her past before, and only when it was dragged out of her by force as a traumatic flashback. Knowing Denji understands makes it easier. It's still hard, but she wants to talk about him. To have Crambon be remembered by more than just her. ]
His name was Crambon. The cat, I mean. [ Very much past tense. ] I didn't have any friends at the orphanage, so I read a lot of books... he'd sit on my shoulders and watch like he was reading along. It was really cute. And at night, he'd always sleep on my bed, not anyone else's.
People act like cats aren't affectionate, but they're just different about how they show it. You have to let them come to you — let them be in control of the interaction. Even if they swipe at you, it's probably because they're scared or uncertain. They're predators, but also prey, so trust is a really big deal for them.
[ Wow... sounds like someone in this room right now... ]
no subject
he knows that??? that's why he made her the tea in the first place? what a fucking goofball. he likes that about her. he listens about the cat, blinking mildly at some details. orphanage, pet friend... some more kind of loose parallels. Denji had always been feral, but then, he'd also had a dad at one point. so after that point. then it was just him and Pochita... no orphanage.]
Yeah...
When I was livin' with that guy Aki, my other friend Power had a cat. The Control devil killed Power, so she took it. Then when the Control devil was reborn as Nakuya—the lil girl I was takin' care of, I took care of all the dogs, her and Power's cat.
It took that cat a long time to come around... It never disliked me, we just didn't know how to click. But we were friends eventually.
I don't think I prefer cats or dogs, but I liked that it'd always sleep on me.
no subject
[ Aaaaaand she puts her foot in it again. Not out of contempt or disdain, but disbelief, and maybe a little anger. If a devil did that to her, if they'd made her kill Crambon, she'd never forgive them, reincarnation or not. Even Yoru immediately backed down from the idea of making her kill a cat, and suggested another plan. She remembers how frantic Denji had been about Nayuta after he'd been put back together, his stubborn refusal to give up on her as they dug through the charred remains of his home... a head coming down the sushi belt... that was the Control Devil? Someone on the same level as Famine and War?
Is that what Public Safety would have done to her, too, if they'd managed to take her in? ]
That's seriously messed up, Denji. [ You're messed up, is what she wants to say, but she manages to at least make it a little less targeted. So much for "nobody has the right to judge you for that"... but it's okay, because she's judging him for something completely different! ]
no subject
I killed her.
[and ate her. for weeks. he looks at the surface of his tea, blinking. he still misses Makima, though. still thinks about her. that's what's messed up, and even he understands that. sooo he keeps that one to himself.]
...Devils are different. They don't remember humans, really. So if I met Power again, she wouldn't remember me, even though she'd probably remember the Control devil. Nayuta didn't do anything wrong. She was just a little kid.
Feels kinda nice t'just have all that shit off my chest. Sorry it's sudden...
[Denji shouldn't trust Asa because she's unstable... but he feels like he trusts her character, which is why he randomly just shared all that. Yoru probably already knows all this shit anyway, or enough of it.]
no subject
[ No such thing as an innocent devil and all that. Maybe it makes her a horrible person, but she thinks it makes her reasonable. Why should someone — something — be forgiven just because it died, lost all its memories, and reincarnated as a completely new being?
... Okay, maybe she's being a little unreasonable. Still. ]
You don't have to apologize. I like learning more about you. [ Denji, specifically. She's heard plenty about Chainsaw Man from Yoru. ] ... You've had a really shitty life, huh. I think if I was in your shoes, I'd have given up a long time ago. [ . . . ] But I'm glad you're still here.
no subject
he blinks when she says she likes learning more about him, his heart fluttering as he turns to look at her again. he doesn't necessarily feel flattered or anything by her compliment to his tenacity (he is miserable, even if he hasn't given up—this new place is kind of shifting his paradigm a little bit, at least), but...everything else makes his face a little red.]
...Are you really? Do y'mean that?
[Denji drops his gaze, staring at his tea again, where his reflection stupidly ripples and blinks back at him while he rubs his face.]
Huh...
[people liking him is one thing but...being glad he's alive is... you know, outside of how useful his body is...]
no subject
[ LMAO okay. In this case, yes, but also shut up Asa. She looks down at her hands, flexing her fingers idly. Remembering. ]
I like you. You're fun to talk to, and... you're a good guy. [ She doesn't mean in a moral sense, though he's not awful by those standards either. He's always treated her well, even when she's treated him terribly. Just look at today. ] So yeah. Obviously. If you ever died, I'd go to hell or whatever and drag you back myself.
[ It's said ridiculously casually for the kind of promise it is, but she means this, too. Yoru can shut up and be useful for once. ]
no subject
[Denji rubs the back of his neck with a little laugh, rubbing the bottom of his nose.]
Don't go making death sound so romantic.
[he glances back at her through the corner of his eyes, and his hand, warm from holding the tea (that again?? he made her? why is she so silly?), extends to rest over Asa's.]
I like you too...
That's why I didn't wanna leave you there.
You're one of my only friends right now... and besides, you're cute, pretty, smart and funny... [even though she's annoying, mean, and crazy. but honestly, she's better than any other girls that've been involved with him. at least Asa is honest, sort of—she's certainly not as deceptive as others, as far as he can tell... and besides, it kind of just seems like she's shy...and that her reality changes often more than her being an overtly dishonest person.] You make me feel a bit more connected to humanity again. As in you: Asa.
[he thinks. he thinks he's getting used to identifying them.]
no subject
She can certainly enjoy him calling her cute. And pretty. And smart. And funny. Things she already knew, of course... but she deserves to hear them said out more often, even if she doesn't need to. She's not desperate. She definitely won't replay that in her mind late at night when she's alone and the self-doubt starts to creep in, because first of all she doesn't have self-doubt, obviously, and second of all she isn't an egotist. She can just appreciate a compliment like a normal person. Compliments. Plural. ]
Yeah. It's me. [ There's a few seconds where she hesitates; knowing what she wants to say, but unsure if she can actually say it. Funny how she can sincerely promise to drag someone back from her — from Yoru's, whatever — eldest sister's clutches, then stumble over something so basic. ] Denji... I want to kiss you again. But only if you want me to.
[ Actually want her to, not the presumptive "I know you do" from before. ]
no subject
[Denji blinks, appearing genuinely puzzled (and excited, okay, he’s trying to keep it together). of course he’d want her to?? he curls his hand over hears without thinking, tilting his head as he leans into her space a little, peering at her. he puts the tea on his coffee table, before and between them.]
Of course I want you to. You can kiss me all you like, whenever you want.
[he wonders if they have the opportunity to kiss properly if Denji will be able to sense the difference in how each of the two personalities kiss—it’d be a good way to keep things… uh. as sorted in its chaos as possible, anyway.]
no subject
You too. [ ... ] You can kiss me too, I mean. Whenever.
[ He'd seemed so hesitant before — she can't tell if that's his natural disposition, or he was just taken by surprise. Looking at him and how he fights, she'd expect him to be more aggressive, but she's thinking of Chainsaw Man. Not Denji. It'd be like him basing his expectations for her off Yoru, and he's made it very clear that he doesn't. The least she can do is afford him the same separation, even if their situations aren't entirely similar.
She turns herself to face him more, making sure she isn't in danger of bumping over the tea, and. Just kind of stares for a few seconds, before laughing nervously. ]
Sorry. I'm not — I'm not laughing at you. [ She's laughing at how ridiculous this all is. She's supposed to be dead, and now she's worried about embarrassing herself by kissing her crush badly. (Because that's what he is, isn't he? Fuck.) ] Do you think you could, um, go first?
no subject
his smile goes lopsided and comfortable when she laughs, because he gets it. Asa's not exactly the. uh. humored type—Yoru's more likely to actually laugh at Denji. Asa seems to type to laugh out of nerves, because... obviously, she's anxious as hell.
because of his behavior around consent, though...
Denji blinks.
is this going to be his first time kissing a girl himself, actually? people are always kissing him... but he's never dared impose.]
Yeah, definitely...
[he leans forward, thumb and forefinger curled under her chin to lift her head a little as he bends his neck to meet her; his lips only brush hers at first, and he feels his heart immediately start racing. but he manages to keep his composure (for now), tilting his head as presses his lips more firmly against Asa's. his other hand is occupied by maintaining his balance as he's twisted at the waist, leaning in.
as usual, it feels amazing. and it feels kind of—different, but he isn't sure how to place it.]
no subject
Ugh. There has to be a more comfortable position to make out in.
[ ... Well. One immediately comes to mind, but she's pretty sure Yoru ruined sitting in his lap forever. Speaking of: ]
You realize, don't you? [ She says, with the resignation of knowing she's about to ruin a good thing. The only good thing she has left. But it'd be selfish not to remind him, to pretend their last conversation never happened, and her selfishness is the reason all of this happened in the first place. What a monkey's paw of a dying wish that turned out to be. ] I haven't been able to hear Yoru for a while, but she's not gone. If you keep spending time with me, sooner or later, you'll have to deal with her again. [ Stupid. She could have just kissed him again instead of saying any of this. Instead she stares pitifully at his lips, wishing she had, and whispers: ] ... I'm sorry.
[ It's violating to watch her body do all the things she ever wanted to do, but it's someone else doing them. To hear it saying all the things she ever wanted to say, but it's someone else saying them. But even for Asa, the lifelong queen of living in denial, there are limits to what she can ignore. ]
potential for memshare "event" in the future of the PSL goes toooo:
but how often has opportunity fell flat on his face—it's true he's had sexual attention from girls! all liars, all devils who had a stake on his heart—but not his heart—Denji's. he remembers their date, which kind of sucked, but it brings to mind per Makima's lecturing as she made him touch her ear and then her full breast that it was more than just carnal, surface level desire. it's confusing, but in this moment, he thinks he gets it—he loves how brazen and sexual Yoru is, but the way it's familiar makes him feel both empty and afraid.
if there's a chance Asa has similar desires from her human heart, it puts that whole operation on pause. trouble is, Denji is stupid. he has no training on emotional intelligence, until kind of recently, where his desires afford a mirror. it's the first time he's been with a woman who's boundaries aren't conditional, like a carrot on a stick. it's not that Denji has more power, but it's more that... maybe they're level.
he's never had that experience. an experience that makes him want to slow down, remembering her nerviness during their strange aquarium date; where he did indeed retain that starfish were edible based on her boring ramblings, and was able to dig that up to feed her. but Asa doesn't remember that. god fucking damn it. in this moment, that feels so, so frustrating.
and that belies...something. something he's too stupid to understand, but it ignites his spirit. gently, in their kissing, he pushes her in a more languid, comfortable position that happens to position her against the arm of the couch. it's just instinct; not a confident answer to her discomfort. he leans back, breathing heavily, eyes soft from earlier tears.]
...Don't be sorry.
[his breath is labored, embarrassingly; he's so fit, it can only be due to one thing. it's not just Asa. the same body, the same face, different actions; Pavlov's bell will ring regardless. he swallows, and brushes his thumb across her cheek. he observes her dark eyes, realizing they aren't bright and wicked like Power's, or Makima's, or Yoru's.]
I'll...do my best. Now that I know, I...
[Denji's head drops, shame washing over him for reasons he can't understand. he's gotten close to "scoring" many times, but he's never been close to having a girlfriend before Asa. even as bad as their first date was.]
I can't promise I'm smart enough to tell the difference, but...
[he wants his dick to be touched. he wants to get off. he wants to have so much sex he forgets his pain, his loneliness, and everything else. but Yoru provides only the raw part of all that—funnily, Yoru's own sister may have given ammunition against Yoru's manipulation where Denji's true learning lies.]
I wanna be a good boy.
But I'm tired of being good to devils alone.
You know?
But like... I'm stupid, and super horny. And it makes me weak.
i want her to see makima's treatment of him sooooo bad
[ No, she isn't. Yoru is many things, most of them fucking awful, but in Asa's experience an outright liar isn't really one of them. If Yoru says "defeat the Death Devil, and I'll have sex with you," then that's exactly what she means. But if Denji believes that... what need would he have for Asa? Nevermind all those things he said about liking her for her humanity (ha), or doing his best, whatever that means. It isn't good enough. She wants the extra guarantee. To make him doubt Yoru, and only trust her.
Which of them is the devil again? ]
You need to learn to say no. [ Victim blaming much, but doesn't she get a say in how her body gets used? (Somewhere repressed in the back of her mind: "If you want to live, your body will be mine." But that doesn't count! That deal was under duress; she never would have made it if she'd known the consequences. Would she?) ]
If I offered to have sex with you right now, no strings attached... what would you say?
[ She reaches up to runs her hands over the broad planes of his chest, feeling his breath coming hot and heavy. There's a right answer and a wrong answer... of course, the only problem is that she isn't sure which of them she actually wants to hear. What does she value more: her future bodily autonomy if he can't control his horniness, or the satisfaction of him craving her as much as Yoru? Then there's the girlish part of her who just wants to experience a first with a boy that isn't filtered through Yoru; even knowing it would remove the main leverage keeping her from turning Denji into a weapon. Too bad that's the one she's least honest about, always quick to choose manipulation over exposing the most pathetic side of herself. ]
YESSS…. let’s dog-ear that lol
as for Yoru…Denji doesn’t say anything, just jutting his jaw a bit. even if Asa sounded more confident with her delivery, Denji wouldn’t believe her. he knows Yoru likes him. and that’s not even being arrogant. that’s just knowing too many devils too closely. but just because Yoru sincerely likes him doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. and Denji’s aware of it, too. but, you know. poor self esteem and loneliness. he’ll take what he can get.]
—Huh?
[speaking of that… Denji’s breath catches in his throat with surprise as Asa’s hands stroke his chest. in tandem to that question, Denji’s face goes hot, dick immediately hard. he knows she’s testing him somehow, but he doesn’t quite get what she’s getting at.]
…I-I’d…
[say yes!!! obviously! he’d fuck her right now, if he could!! he scowls.]
Look, I can turn sex from a woman down. I’ve done it before!
And you’re not the type I want that kinda sex from anyway. But obviously, I really want you, so I’d say hell yeah! Of course I’d take you up on it!
[if it was no strings attached, that’d really suck. but Asa is super hot, and he likes her. he wouldn’t mind being used. the concept is kinda hot anyway… but he’s got a boner right now so he can’t trust that logic right now.]
🙏
[ Anyone could look at what he's said about her already, and understand what he means by it. Anyone who isn't hellbent on finding the negative in everything, that is.
And hey! Guess what Asa is? Especially when he talks about turning sex down before, and she immediately bristles. Why didn't he do that to Yoru? Obviously he just didn't care enough to try. (The fact he shoved her off in Aging's world, the fact she forced herself on him every time before and after that... those little things don't matter.) ]
I get it. [ She interjects before he can explain, shoving him back so she can sit up more. ] I'm not fun like her. I'm not a slut. It doesn't matter if a girl is stupid or bossy or conceited, boys only care about one thing. Nobody wants a smart girl with standards. It's fine, I'm used to it.
[ Airing out a few more of her hangups on Denji, no big deal. She stands up so she can tower over him while she bitches. ]
Did you ever think about what happens afterward? Of course not. Because you don't want a girlfriend, you just want sex. I can't believe I was even considering something so disgusting. Ugh.
I'll admit that you have appealing physical qualities, and parts of your personality aren't the worst. I even liked it when you kissed me. Not loved, but liked. It was okay. Your technique needs work, but that's what practice is for. I could have taught you, but you'd have to be my boyfriend, and we've already established why that isn't happening. Not that I was thinking about asking you to be. At least not more than anyone would in my situation. Less, actually.
Like I said. I'm not desperate. [ who tf asked................ ]
no subject
[has she been rejected by boys before?? Denji supposes she like… is kinda crazy, even without Yoru. and she’s gloomy. and weird. but. it’s kind of charming, too. but most dudes aren’t built like him.
he blinks stupidly and in mild terror as she towers over him, which regrettably does nothing to quell his arousal. if anything, it’s sort of stoked. a little. he swallows. he blinks again as she goes on…… and finds himself more and more confused. who the fuck said any of that???? also what’s wrong with sluts?! he’d totally be a slut if he could.
wait hold up SHE WAS CONSIDERING IT? she could TEACH HIM? how would that work? isn’t she inexperienced??]
Asa! [he interjects, just in case she isn’t finished. didn’t Yoshida say she was desperate for a boyfriend?? why did he say that…]
Dude, I want a girlfriend more than anything. Where did you get the idea I don’t? Like, yeah, I wanna have lots of sex, but that’s not all I want.
I’m just more likely to get laid then to get a girlfriend… so I’m rolling with that now.
[he doesn’t think he’d be a bad boyfriend, but someone has to get there first on order for him to demonstrate those merits. he’s given up on it for now, fully self objectifying, like he’s more of a dildo than a person. should he get even that lucky. he’s fine with it. if he someday can’t keep his bed warm with the same body, he’ll just have to keep it warm with many. he pauses.
Yoru did say Asa liked him…]
…I’d date you, if you wanted. You can hold out as long as you want, too—no matter how bad I want it.
no subject
So you'd date me out of pity? Is that it? Because I can't get — because I don't want a boyfriend?
You think anyone here will like you if they see you dating me? [ He wants to be liked, doesn't he? Maybe appealing to that side of him will work. ] I'm the crazy girl who showed up and wrecked their city. I thought Chainsaw Man was a superhero. Someone who saves people.
[ Said with a scoff, mockingly. Again, completely unfair, but she's actively trying to chase him off at this point. For her own sake, but also his. ]
... You know, I used to think I could stop her if things got too bad. [ Yoru, obviously. She looks at her hands, at what they are, and it seems so ludicrous that she has to laugh at her past self's arrogance. So she does. A horrible, tired, whimper of a thing. ] But you can't either, can you? You won't. I'm going to be stuck like this forever.
no subject
[dating is a commitment! sex is easier. and even sex isn’t easy. even sex has so much fucking consequence around it he’d be scared of it if his drive wasn’t so destructively high.
to her point about Chainsaw Man, he scowls. he’s about to counter her—say it’s different here, because there’s all kinds of people with bigger powers and better morals… moreover, there’s not a lot of heroing to do. except against Yoru, he guesses. there’s probably other chaotic entities like her…
Denji doesn’t even know that it was Asa who caused all that damage, not Yoru. she seems to be the scapegoat of this lovely afternoon session they’re having of going around in circles. at least his dick’s finally down.
something moves in him when she says that, though—like something finally clicks, watching Asa stare at her hands, her broken laugh, the thin veil it represents. right. she’s suffering, but…it’s her body. when she says “you won’t,” Denji feels a wave of shame so overwhelming he becomes nearly nauseous.
it’s like it all finally clicks how violating it all must be. and Denji knows violation. he knows being a tool. he knows it in dark, buried corners of his mind he’s not even ready to glance at. darker and deeper than the door that hid his father’s corpse, but in the same world.]
…I’m sorry.
[he takes her hand in both of his, gazing at it as well. it may be a devil’s hand, but it’s Asa’s now, so he still strokes with his thumb affectionately. even those devils were done pretty dirty. makes sense the devil of war is a merciless occupier.]
I—I’ll try not to. I mean it. [he feels a deep, face-heating shame that he has to say he’ll try.] I…I didn’t know I was taking things from you. I didn’t know you guys were different people, exactly.
I don’t wanna take anything else from you…
[damn. and what of Yoru’s promise? the death devil isn’t even here, anyway. he doesn’t want to feel like he’s—
raping Asa.
fuck. he feels kind of sick. his hand is shaking as he stares at Asa’s in his hold, and his grip tightens softly. he feels responsible. why’s everyone always gotta get so fucked up just by being near him?
a hero… what a joke.]
no subject
But it takes two to tango, even if one half thinks they're dancing with someone else. When she looks at him, her chest feels tight, wondering what she'll lose next. What's even left at this point? Yoru's proven she has control over Asa's body and her mind. Her spirit? Already pretty much broken. Whatever traces of resistance she has left? Yeah, right. She's no more free to disobey the War Devil than Denji is. At least he never claimed that he could.
If only he hadn't saved her. He deserves to be punished for that, if nothing else. ]
Yeah. Sure. [ Her body sags. She pulls her hand free, turning her head so she doesn't have to watch his shake. ] Get off the couch. I'm going to sleep.
[ The single mercy she shows is that she bites back a comment about keeping his hands to himself. He's well and truly down. She doesn't need to keep kicking. ]
no subject
[Denji’s fingers feel—cold, aching, in a sudden swell of cortisol. it feels strange. makes him curl his hands into fists just a bit when she withdraws, and he stands up.
the tea he made goes cold on the table, but he forgets its there. his apartment is surprisingly tidy, from Aki’s domesticating, from caretaking for Nayuta—but he feels so weirdly off balance right now, the tidying isn’t even present to him. he swallows awkwardly, wishing he had that hollowed out kind of static noise emptiness that usually fills him in these moments.
it’s slower, here. so maybe it’s just catching up. but it’s likely because this is just new, and it’s hard, and he cares. who knows.
this may not be his world, but people don’t change when you drag and drop them to different realities. this conversation has cemented this thought he’s been having.
he moves to his room, hesitating at his doorframe—mostly because he wants to say something, but how many times can someone say sorry in such futility? especially realizing he doesn’t really deserve forgiveness anyway? he settles for instead:]
Let me know if you need anything.
[he thinks about leaving his apartment to get away from the tension, but… he brought Asa here to make sure she’s okay. and he’s just realized how badly he’s failed that, but he’s still committed to it; saying that out loud holds him accountable to stay put. so he sinks onto his bed, nails biting into the palm of his hand as he curls and tenses, carefully breathing deep and slow so he doesn’t cry anymore.
like shit that he deserves that much.
his finger eventually tangles in the loop of his pull-start, but he doesn’t pull it. instead, he just yearns, wishing he had Pochita’s guidance and company.]
no subject
... Maybe she's just not used to being so utterly alone, without even Yoru's voice for company.
Almost unconsciously, she touches her fingers to her lips. A minute later her weight joins Denji's on his bed. She tries to be delicate about it, in case he's asleep, but she knows he isn't. How could he be? ]
Don't say anything. [ ... ] You can kick me out if you want. Otherwise, just pretend I'm not here.
[ She turns her back to him, pulling her knees up to her chest, and tucking herself into a shivering ball on the edge of his bed. Trying not to take up much space. To not intrude any further than she already has. ]
no subject
but—her words, even the tone of her voice, is Asa. his body untenses, and he quietly lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. his bed isn’t tiny, but it’s definitely not big. he can sense her tremors, and it makes him turn to face her back.
he dares not touch her, though he wants to. he wants to comfort her, but… especially with the clarity of the situation, he doesn’t feel particularly, er. at liberty to touch… but he does brush his shins against the backs of her calves, more as an affirmation of presence.
obediently, he doesn’t say anything. he does get his hand out of his shirt, though, cuz that’s just gonna look weird without someone knowing the context and relationship he has with Pochita. which, really, is… nobody. honestly, he’s worried even turning around or touching legs like this is going over the line. but it feels like anything he does is wrong, so… whatever. he’s trying.]
no subject
So of course, not five minutes later, she's rolling over and burying her face into his chest. When was the last time she felt the comforting warmth of another body like this? Not since she was a little girl, crawling into her mother's bed after yet another nightmare. Not since Crambon... since Crambon. ]
Denji... don't leave. [ The bed, but not just the bed. Next to Yoru, Denji is the only constant presence in her life, and certainly the only honest one. To a fault, even. If he'd lied to her, she probably wouldn't have snapped at him half as badly, but that's not who he is. ] I'll figure out a way to save you. You can still be happy.
[ Back to being normal. Safe. Not having devils breathing down his neck day and night. Not just "can": he has to. It's what's best for him, even if he doesn't realize it. His life wasn't the greatest before, sure, but at least it was a life. He might not understand now, but he will. And she'll do it with or without his cooperation. ]
no subject
I won’t, [he mumbles, shifting to use his bicep as a pillow in lieu of the actual pillow on his bed. he still doesn’t sleep normally, so much of him still trapped in that moldy, weather-prone shack without the luxuries of sheets, blankets, much less of all a pillow. he’ll get there. he enjoys all those things time and again, but when he feels small, he rescinds from the luxury of basic amenities.]
Worry about yourself, [he retorts, shifting his body so they’re a bit closer; the scent of her hair fills his head, which is dizzying in a way more cozying than arousing. the arm at her waist strokes her upper back, moving coarse, silky tendrils of hair for ease of motion.]
Might be there’s nothin’ to be done about me… and besides, I haven’t totally given up hope. I’ll find my way. I’m used to this. Been eating shit since I was a baby, cuz’a the yakuza, my dad, whatever.
You…
[his eyes narrow a little as he fights emotions, and his hand stills, splaying its broad palm between her scapula in this pause. he doesn’t know how to articulate his next point, what he’s feeling: which is that Asa, to him, is innocent. he is not. he’s just constantly seeking redemption. to be a good child.]
This shit’s way newer to you. I’m more worried about you.
[Asa is the only human he’s had this kind of bond with, besides Aki—but he took Aki for granted. and it wasn’t like this exactly besides, because Aki was a dude, and Denji is straight (probably). Himeno was his only human foray into this shit, and she was from a world he didn’t understand.
Asa was human, and Asa was also just a kid. like him. he’s never experienced this. it’s precious, and he wants to protect it. it feels like his goals and paradigms have been shifting day to day since before this place, trying to hold onto what keeps him moving even if that changes cyclically—but he’s decided he wants to save Asa. she shouldn’t worry about saving him.]
no subject
Listening to that same heart beating, it's hard to imagine what's below the surface of his skin. But she was there in that restaurant. She saw him turn into... that. The other Chainsaw Man. She doesn't hate Pochita the way Yoru does, but she still needs him gone. Nothing personal.
For now, though, she lets herself curl into his touch. Her own hands keep to themselves, but she shifts agreeably under his; letting out a quiet, satisfied hum as he strokes her back, some of her tension releasing with the air. ]
I'm fine. [ Less about convincing him that she really is, and more about shutting down the conversation. ] You worry too much. I was just blowing off steam earlier. You didn't need to freak out like that.
[ Even less believable, but a convenient lie for them both to believe in. She doesn't have to explain herself, and he doesn't have to wonder just how far she was prepared to go in pursuit of her own destruction. She's quiet for a minute, but before the silence has a chance to really settle: ]
... Your bed sucks, by the way. [ Wow? ] First thing tomorrow, we're getting you another pillow. And more blankets. I can't sleep like this every night.
[ Presumptive, much. ]
no subject
he seems to snap out of his pondering when she disses his bed, blinking and lifting his head.]
Mm? Yeah?
[Denji believes her; he isn’t offended. he wouldn’t know better, since he used to sleep on a mattress that was only a little better than cardboard for pretty much his whole life.]
That’s fine… It’s hard for me to tell, so…
[he rests his head back down again, and when he does, his eyes suddenly snap open as he lifts his head right back up.]
Wait! E-every night!?
[his face turns pink, and his heart begins to race. of course there’s a strong current of sexual excitement at the idea, but he’s also just stoked at the idea of having a warm body in his bed again. Denji’s had a shitty, unfrilled life, for sure—but he’s had sleep buddies more often than not as a constant. Pochita, Power, Nayuta, the dogs, the cat…]
Really??
no subject
Is that okay? [ She tilts her head up to stare back at him, eyes wide; excuses coming fast and thick. ] I-I just thought that, since we know each other, it makes sense to stick together. It's better than living with a stranger, right? But your apartment's small, so sleeping together is easier than trying to fit another bed in. And it's a more efficient use of resources.
The couch is fine, but it's not exactly comfortable. A good night's sleep is essential for both physical and mental health. It helps with your immune system too. Seriously, look it up. Plus—
[ She'll keep rambling until he cuts her off... sorry........... ]
no subject
gently, he taps his finger against her lips, politely urging her to shut the fuck up.]
Hey.
Of course it’s okay. You don’t gotta explain anything. I’ll make sure this bed is comfy as hell and you get real good sleep.
POLITELY URGING HER TO SHUT THE FUCK UP he just like me fr
Don't get ahead of yourself. For all I know, you're the kind of guy who steals the blankets, or kicks in his sleep. Or snores really loud. You look like a snorer... [ wtf is that supposed to mean ] But I knew you'd agree. You're practical. That's actually one of the things I like about you — you know a smart idea when you hear one.
[ Abruptly: ]
Close your eyes for a minute.
LOL
[that was Power’s job. she was such a pain in the ass to share a bed with it probably trained Denji’s bed manners to counter her. ok, maybe he snores when the sleep is hitting really hard and he’s super dead… but only sometimes. but damn why’s she gotta humble him at every turn?!
whatever. it doesn’t get him down. he’s still way too excited, and he still looks pleased.]
I dunno about that… Practical though, yeah. [
he’s a virgohe did pick up a lot of those kinds of skills being broker than dirt poor his whole life. he blinks when she asks him to close his eyes, and he swallows nervously, heart fluttering.this is where he needs to not get ahead of himself… they’ve just reunited and he’s already gotten two kisses, so. you know. Asa is unpredictable as fuck, so he’s trying not to get his hopes up. but, obediently, he closes his eyes.]
no subject
[ See, Denji? If you want her to say nice(ish) things about you, just agree with her. Except for when agreeing makes her angrier, because it's a trick question, or because she thinks she wants a specific answer but actually hearing it makes her frustrated, and god forbid she self reflect instead of taking things out on someone else.
Anyway.
He's smart not to get ahead of himself, though in this case his assumption is correct. She props herself up on one elbow, and just... stares at his face for a few seconds. Even in the low light, he's cute. Finally, right when her inaction starts to teeter from mildly awkward to super awkward, she leans up and kisses him.
On the cheek. ]
I'm not sleeping with a guy who isn't my boyfriend. Even if it's not sleeping like that. So, congratulations.
[ Yeah... congratulations..................................... ]
no subject
Denji’s eyes are still closed when he feels Asa’s kiss on his cheek—which isn’t what he was hoping for. but it still makes him smile, cheeks blushing a little. it’s still a win to Denji. despite all the trauma he has around kissing, it’s still simply the best. any kind of kiss.
man, he wants to make out, though. he’s pretty sure that he’s never made out with Asa—probably just Yoru…
wait he’s getting distracted. he blinks.]
Are you saying I’m your boyfriend?
[his eyes narrow as he grins, his heart thudding happily. he wants to make out, but… he has to meet Asa where she’s at, probably. he’s used to women setting the pace anyway, so. Denji scoots forward, brushing her hair out of her face to kiss her forehead.
there.]
Guess I am pretty lucky after all.
no subject
She tugs on his other cheek, punishment for making her flustered. Then, feeling guilty, she finds herself stroking it instead, pretending like she's just wearing gloves when she catches a glimpse of her hand. At least he doesn't seem to mind them. ]
Not "pretty" lucky. You are lucky. [ And so is she, even if she doesn't say it. Nobody but Denji would put up with her, even without the added """bonus""" of Yoru. Throw in the fact that she (unfortunately) liked him before any of this; when he was, for all intents and purposes, just an ordinary boy that did one nice thing for her, and she knows which of them is the luckier one. ] As for everything else... w-we can talk about it.
no subject
he strokes her back again, watching her face.
when she eludes to sex (which that even being a possibility makes Denji feel fucking crazy, so again, no complaints), he strokes the back of his fingers across her cheek affectionately, tilting his head against the bed somewhat.]
There’s no pressure or anything… I’m happy.
[despite the emotional rollercoaster this day had been. kissed, slapped, scolded… then she just crawls into his bed and declares herself Denji’s girlfriend. her mind is an enigma.]
You’re tired, right? [Denji’s arm moves so that its across her waist, once again cupping the shell of her back with his arm.] You should sleep.
no subject
Too bad there's no chance of it happening right now. The most she can do is muster a faint smile; nowhere near as big or bright as his, but at least an acknowledgment in its own way, before she buries her face in his chest again. (She never paid much attention to their size difference before now, but like. Whew. He's not massively taller than her or anything, but he's big... ///) ]
Yeah... goodnight, Denji.
no subject
[when he leaves her be to sleep, he's up for a while—after all, it's early, and Denji hasn't had a day nearly as exhausting. plus, he has a lot to process—a ton's on his mind. he wanders back through their interaction, troubled again by the issue of Asa's autonomy... finding he relates in ways, but is distressed by the differences too.
which, of course, his mind wanders...predictably... once that ventures into their deciding to date, coupled with the warmth of her right beside him, their kissing from earlier... he feels a little guilty for it, but it's hard to control. but despite how it gets his blood pumping, it also makes him—oddly cozy... and he does eventually find himself drifting off maybe about thirty minutes later.
Denji's dreams are predictably as salacious, but. you know.]
@hgeegh
DON'T open this around anyone else.
I mean it.
And don't be weird. Just say thanks or something.
Ew, no. Don't do that.
You know what? I don't even care what you do. Ignore it if you want.
I won't be mad.
Maybe I'll be a little mad. But I get it. This is presumptuous of me.
Just so you know, the costume was Yoru's idea. I thought it was patronizing, personally.
Like, wow. He's a pirate, so OBVIOUSLY he's into this sort of thing? Please. Of course a devil would think like that.
I bought it just to shut her up. So if I don't use it, I've wasted my money. I'm not cheap, but I'm sensible.
That's all this is. Me being sensible.
I'm not nervous, either. We talked about this.
Sort of.
It's really not even that big of a deal.
[ Hopefully he took her first message to heart, because the picture that comes through is a mirror selfie of Asa wearing this. Yes, eyepatch included. She's blushing up a storm, and looking away, so it's not a great photo, but the effort is there. ]
Happy Valentine's Day, Sanji.
no subject
You look amazing, Asa! ♡♡♡
Yoru was right. ♡ That money definitely went to good use. You're so sensible. ♡♡
Even the eyepatch suits you. ♡♡
Meet me at the house tomorrow? ♡
[Incidentally, this photograph is going to be his home wallpaper now. He has enough sense to reserve something more modest for the lock screen, but he is a man in love with a diverse appetite!]
no subject
To be clear, she just suggested I should try dressing up. And the theme.
The actual outfit was my choice, so that's why it looks good. [ It was the only pirate one they had, but he doesn't have to know that. ]
I don't even want to think about what she'd choose. She's so shameless, it'd probably barely cover anything.
[ Because what she's wearing covers so much. Enjoy the mental image of it being even skimpier, Sanji. ]
Sure. I'll tell the church I'm taking a few days off for personal reasons.
We've recruited more Devil Hunters. They're nowhere near as strong as me, but they should be fine.
And they need to learn sometime. I can't do ALL the work for them. [ It's not HER fault if people die while she's trying to get some dick. ]
I guess I'll bring this outfit. When else am I going to get any use out of it?
[ She would never, ever be able to sound this casual in real life, but that's what text is for, baby. ]
no subject
Right now, he finds himself narrowly avoiding a fainting spell. His overactive imagination probably will be the death of him someday, because Asa (and Yoru) in an even skimpier outfit, especially after these long months in Kamabakka? Oh, no. Oh, no, what'll he do? What will he do?!]
You have a good eye as always. ♡
I'm sure they'll be fine.
[If the guys perish, that's not their problem. (He'll feel bad.) Asa is right, anyhow: Independent study has its merits.]
You've been working hard, so we can take it easy over there. You can bring anything you want. ♡
[This offer naturally extends to Yoru, which is a dangerous game Sanji is far too eager to play. The messages he sends are true reflections of his feelings, but they're also much smoother in text than he'd sound in person. He's also looking forward to the outfit very, very much.]
no subject
[ Selfishly, she hopes nobody else is there — not because she doesn't want to see some of them, but because she really doesn't want to have to explain herself. She's pretty sure Anna would take one look at her and know exactly what she was up to, even if she didn't say a word. It'd be mortifying.
At least it's not a school day, which means a quick stop at the church in the morning (ignoring Yoru's smug comment of how much she sounds like a devil, making demands and ordering about humans beneath her), and all she has to do is go home, get dressed, grab her already-packed bags, and she's off to the house. She doesn't know if he'll be waiting or not, but... it'll be good to see him again. Even she can admit that much to herself. ]
no subject
First things first: He's filthy.
Well, he isn't, but surviving outdoors all this time hasn't given him any to take care of his appearance as carefully as he'd like. He takes full advantage of the house's modern amenities to clean up in the bathroom, then wash the sand and smell of fish out of his clothes (his usual suit with a mint green shirt and striped tie) before heading for the kitchen. Finally, he feels alive again!
By the time Asa arrives later in the morning, Sanji has set a table in the dining area with a bouquet of pink buds and a handful of candles he's scrounged around the house on the side. He's in the middle of considering whether to light the candles now or later when he hears the front door open.
His heart pounding something fierce, he pokes his head out to glimpse the new arrival.]
Is that you, Asa?
no subject
[ She says, annoyed at the question; before remembering that yes, it could have been a lot of people. This isn't their house. She takes a deep breath. Curbs her defensiveness. Tries again. ]
... Yeah. It's me. [ And... it's him. It feels almost mundane, seeing him here again, but it's been a while. She's changed, and not entirely for the better — has he? ] It's good to see you, Sanji.
Come here for a second?
[ He probably has something planned (presumptuous of her, but it's Sanji), but she has her own first impression she wants to make today. ]
no subject
His senses never fail when there's a lady in the vicinity. They're even more hyperalert around Asa, so he can see all the details of her face and her outfit before he's in range for indoor voices, an ear-splitting grin on his face and his arms spread wide.]
So good to see you, too!
[Seriously. She has no idea what she's doing for him by being present and real. Iva's island is hell on earth.
Sanji all but throws himself at Asa to loop his arms around her for a hug. He just wants to squeeze her and sob about how adorable she is. Whether she allows it or not, he peels back after a moment (the greatest tragedy of his life), his whole body tingling from the barest contact.]
You look so cute! How was the commute? Here, I'll take your bags to the room. [He leans forward, reaching for them.]